Happy Self-Love Sunday!
What a week this has been for me. Monday was such a day of revelations. It was the day I decided today’s blog topic, but it was also the day I was notified of the passing of my beloved pastor. I journeyed to my hometown Friday, with an assortment of 7 assignments due on today. I questioned whether I should even write this blog, but God allowed for me to complete everything before today’s due date. And now, I have the pleasure of sharing this blog with you all.

How many of us are longing to feel complete? Often times, we seek the wrong methods to find this feeling of completeness. We turn to other people and things to make us feel whole. We look to these things and people to validate us. We look to others to love us in a way in which we know we deserve to be loved. But why can’t we love ourselves this way? Why do we seek other people and not God for this feeling of completion?

Looking for validation in others will always leave one feeling as if he/she is lacking and incomplete. As I have said in previous blogs, you can not and will not please everyone. And if you are pleasing people, that will not last forever. However, our goal shouldn’t be to please others so that we feel complete. Our problem as humans is that we try to be more than enough for people who we will never satisfy, we will never live up to the standards of others. We will always feel a feeling of incompleteness when seeking validation from others, because even when we feel like we’ve given our all to someone, they can always state on what they felt we could’ve or should’ve done better. As humans, some of us just always want more. God wants the best from us, however, he will never chastise us for what we lack.

As mentioned in a previous blog, God said we are more than enough because he created us. We are already complete in Him. When we begin attempting to please the world, that is when we get lost in translation. We lose sight of ourselves and more importantly, we lose sight of God. The God I know and serve will never shame me or anyone else for not living up to our potential. He will make me aware of how I can do and be better. And if God is to ever make us feel incomplete, it’s because we are not seeking him the way we should. We don’t seek God the way we should because we get caught up in the ways of the world. I am guilty of this myself. When I get in relationships, I always want to be the best girlfriend. In trying to be the best girlfriend, sometimes I lose myself and my relationship with God. I become so intent on putting someone else’s happiness and desires before my own, I forget about what God has for me. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being a great girlfriend or boyfriend, because it’s not. However, remember to stay true to yourself and always seek validation from God and no one else. 

You have to determine whether you let yourself become complete in God or in other people. Being able to acknowledge what you can improve on is half of the battle of accepting yourself for who you are and thus, enabling you to practice self-love and better yourself. However, don’t be so quick to listen to and believe what any and every one tells you. Every friend is not a credible source and honestly, every “friend” is not always a true friend. Have the spirit of discernment and if you don’t know how to decipher what you should and shouldn’t take into mind, seek God. I want us all to be complete in God, so we can practice self-love.

Today, I challenge you not to seek validation in people. I challenge you to talk to God and study his word to learn how he has crafted you and how he created you lacking in nothing. Ask yourself why do you want to feel complete. Is it because you know that you’re missing something in your life OR is it because someone told you that something is missing? Allow God to speak to you, for he and only he alone can make you complete. I want to leave you all with the lyrics of a Jonathan McReynolds’ gospel song,
“What I lack, You are full of.
And where I’m broken, You are whole.
And what I’m doubting. You are sure of.
So I’ll trust the Lover, Lover of my soul.”

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
This week I was blessed with the opportunity to attend a graduate computing conference for women at GA Tech. I had the opportunity to network with so many wonderful ladies who have a passion for technology, just like I do. This conference was so amazing & informative, really inspired me to continue exploring the world of technology because there’s so much available. And even while I was at the conference, I was gathering ideas together for today’s blog. Once I came up with the topic for today, I could not wait to write and share with you all. So please enjoy!

How many times have you gotten your hopes up for what seems like the perfect opportunity, only to be disappointed? Sometimes, the job opportunity that seemed amazing doesn’t select us or the program we were so interested in pursuing doesn’t pick us either. The feeling of rejection can take every bit of happiness that one has and crush it to shreds within a matter of moments. At some point in our lives, regardless of the situation, we will all experience this feeling of rejection. It’s not how we act in these moments of rejection that will shape our lives, but how we react as a result of these decisions moving forward. Will you allow rejection to rule your life or will you keep going?

Rejection can rear it’s head in many forms. And sometimes, the after effects of rejection will have one feeling defeated, unworthy, and a bunch of other demeaning emotions. No matter what type of rejection one faces, we all can relate. And I feel that more than anything, rejection can become very disheartening and inspire one to become very unmotivated.  In life we have to experience unfavorable moments, feelings, and emotions. If everything occurred the way we wanted it to, every single moment of every single day, our lives would be perfect. And nobody has a perfect life, that’s unrealistic. I’ve had my share of unfavorable moments and times where I’ve been rejected. And trust me, I know that is no pleasant feeling. But I had to give myself a pep talk and move past this rejection to continue with my life & experience the wonderful opportunities that were in store for me. I had to keep going in spite of how I felt. We all have to keep going, no matter how our rejection occurs or how it makes us feel.

No matter your situation or the type of rejection that you have faced or that you will face, you must remember two things. 1. Rejection does not define you and 2. What is for you will always be for you. It can be so easy to become consumed in the feelings that rejection makes us feel. Thus, making us doubt and question ourselves. And even if rejection feels like a shortcoming, doesn’t mean that this is true. Sometimes, people, job opportunities, or whatever will reject you simply because you are overqualified and they don’t know how to handle you. You just realize your worth & value and keep moving. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and because of this, I believe that rejection is a way of removing all those things that ARE NOT meant for you out of the way so the thing/situation/person that is for you will be revealed and there will be nothing stopping you. Sometimes, rejection occurs because we weren’t ready for something in the moment in which we wanted it. So we have to keep moving after rejection to level up and if interested, pursue this situation again and then we can conquer it. I learned a lot of things at the conference but one thing that really stuck out to me is that they said to never give up and to keep trying. Maybe you didn’t get the job offer you wanted the first time, but apply a second time & a third time and if it’s something you’re really dedicated about and aware of your value that you can bring to the table, it will happen for you when it’s supposed to. So do not be afraid to move on from rejection, realizing that it doesn’t make or break you and that in time, what is for you will come into fruition.

Another quote that was said at this conference was that, “setbacks set you up for your come back.” Now this really struck me because I know how discouraging setbacks can be. But we have to understand the purpose of setbacks. They are setting us up to get right, in whatever way we need to, and come back better than ever. We can and will overcome obstacles, but we have to be in the right mindset to do so. And sometimes rejection and setbacks prepare us to acknowledge the not so good feelings but also understand that we can’t stay focused on the negative & hurtful emotions. We have to use these unpleasant feelings as fuel to motivate us and push to accomplish all that we want. Our setbacks are preparation. They allow us to focus and realize what it is we really want to continue pursuing and to realize what is worth our time. No matter what, believe in yourself and know that you’re experience a minor setback or minor setbacks for MAJOR comebacks.

We must all keep going. Keep moving and being the wonderful person that you are in the face of adversity, in spite of rejection, and in spite of setbacks. It’s okay to accept your feelings, but you must not succumb to them. Don’t let them rule your life. What is meant for you will always be for you and once you realize this, you won’t be so mad for being rejected or setback. Today, I challenge you to reflect on a recent moment of rejection OR a recent setback, allow yourself to acknowledge how these situations made you feel, and then keep moving toward the bigger goal that you have set for yourself. You can & will achieve any & everything that you want, just keep moving when setbacks come your way.