Einstein once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. This is a quote that I’ve heard many times in my life. However, often times I felt I heard this quote and never really paid attention to it. During my years as an undergraduate college student, one of my friends used to say this quote so often I was over hearing it. Internally, I was always like “omgg if I hear this one more time.” But now I realize I never really HEARD the phrase. The quote went in one ear and out the other. I was there listening but not truly listening. But I can say now as a 25 year old woman who has been through many experiences, situations, life lessons, and emotions this quote now hits different. 

Recently, I think that I have been going in cycles and expecting change. I’ve been doing the same things over and over and over again. I was hopeful and expectant for a new, different, better result. I was honestly living out the definition of insanity. I thought the longer I continued to do what I was doing, that the change and result I wanted would come…eventually. But just because we hope and wish for something to occur doesn’t mean that it will. Hopes, wishes, and wants also don’t dictate reality. Sometimes wishing and dreaming makes us feel better than actually facing the truth of reality.

My recent prayers have been for God to reveal AND remove situations, people and things that aren’t for me, that aren’t what He has planned for my life and myself. The thing about God is that he does answer us, it may not be when we want him to but he does. AND the other important thing is, that we may not like the answer he gives us. There’s a reel on Instagram that displays this exact sentiment. The reel is about a person praying to God and their supposed conversation together. I’ll copy the words below:
Start Reel…
Person praying: Lord it’s 2022 give me direction for my life this year.
God responding back: Start going to the gym
Person praying: Give me something else
God responding back: Eat healthier
Person praying: Nah give my something else.
God responding back: Stop shopping on Amazon
Person praying: Never..nevermind
End Reel.

This conversation is a literal example of our prayers and how we pick and choose what we want to hear. So I must call myself out this time because I have been GUILTYYY of this as of late for sure. As I mentioned above, I prayed a similar prayer regarding direction for my life but specific to situations I was in and/or thinking about being involved in and people I had relationships with. God was giving me signs over the course of some weeks. I heard them but was questioning if it was really God and honestly just flat out ignoring him. So sometimes God has to change his whispers, to speaking in a hushed tone, to literal YELLING or speaking to you in a way that He knows we can’t deny or ignore. And last week, I truly feel God did that for me. He was like you’ve been ignoring me for far too long and you keep praying this SAME prayer, so it’s now time to listen. 

Sometimes self-love looks like breaking cycles and letting go. Letting go of things and people you know aren’t good for you. Things and people you haven’t removed from your life because you enjoy how these things and people make you feel sometimes, but deep down there’s a part of you that knows this isn’t right for you. Today, I challenge you all to prayer a similar prayer OR to begin your own internal analysis. Allow your brain to think about the people, things, and cycles you’ve been continuing even though you’re questionable about them. Is the temporary joy worth staying in the cycle? Or is the harm these situations, people, and cycles can bring (or have already brought) enough for you to want change? I don’t want us to keep doing the same things over and over while expecting a different result, because then it’s inevitable for us to end up in a never ending cycle. Take the courage to speak up and let go. It’s hard. It’s not easy. It can be hurtful and painful. And every day won’t be butterflies and sunshine, there will be sadness and tears TRUST. But I have faith that the hard work of ending cycles and letting go will provide more than a temporary joy and happiness, more of a longterm happiness and joy that will be so worthwhile. And I challenge you all to remember to love yourselves because YOU deserve to be loved (by you)!

Happy Self-Love Sunday & Happy 2022 family!

I know it’s been a minute since you all have seen a written blog from me BUT I always make a point to come back to my first love (writing). Writing a blog has been on my mind for months now. But for some reason I just couldn’t find the time to articulate what I needed to and wanted to in writing, well really I didn’t make the time. But this year I am making the time! I hope that 2022 has been treating you all well thus far. And if not, don’t worry. Every day provides the opportunity for new beginnings, and even though January may have not been the best month doesn’t mean that February won’t be either.

For those of you who follow my A Word Wednesday Instagram video series, the videos can also be found here and on YouTube, you know that I started the year strong discussing The Year of Intention. I am declaring 2022 as the year of intention! Being intentional is defined as doing something on purpose; deliberate. This year I want to challenge us all to move with intention and be intentional in our lives. I want us to pursue our goals and dreams with intention, build relationships with intention, and so much more. Can you imagine what it would look like if we lived our year with intention and purpose? The choice is yours, but I plan on making efforts to be intentional and challenge you all to do the same. 

With being intentional this year, I also plan on accepting myself where i am, and accepting people where they are.

As mentioned previously, as this is a year of intention for me, that looks like a lot of different things. I’ve set goals & I know that they may not all come into fruition like I plan but I plan on proactively taking strides to achieve those goals. And I know a major goal of mine involves acceptance. Continuing to accept myself for who I am and where I currently am, as my journey isn’t over. I have come a very long way & I still have time and room to grow. And I want to be intentional about accepting others for who they are & where they are currently as well.

It’s so easy to create fantasies and expectations in our minds. We decide how we want and expect things to look, how we expect situations and scenarios to be, and how we assume people to behave. Then, when our expectations are not met and when we see people acting outside of this mold we set, it shocks us. But this shock comes become we don’t always accept people for WHO they are and are too concerned about who we want them to be. And I’m not saying that we as people do this intentionally, but sometimes we do this very unintentionally. We unintentionally set these preconceived notions, often forgetting that life isn’t always as black and white as it is in our minds.

I, myself, am very guilty of not being able to accept others for who they are and where they are currently and i’m guilty of not always being able to accept myself for who I am and where I am. By why? I want grace and I want to extend the same grace I give myself to others. I know that we are all works in progress. And everyone’s walk is NOT the same. Therefore, I think acceptance is very important. We must first accept where we are in our journeys and then accept others and where they are. 

Acceptance in human psychology is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it or protest it. With the Year of Intention in mind, I employ you all to actively engage in being intentional by practicing acceptance. Trust me, I know that it may be challenging especially when we are unintentionally not being accepting. But it’s such a blessing to accept yourself, your story, your journey, where you’ve come from and where you have to go. And just how we all take pride in ourselves and the strides we’ve made, we must always remember what it took to get there. We have to remember the lows sometimes, just because every day won’t be filled with rainbows and sunshine. However, we must also remember this so that we can give that acceptance and grace to others. And I believe accepting people for who they are and where they are will lead to a lot less disappointment. So today, I encourage you all to think about the year of intention and being accepting. And remember to love yourself, because you deserve to be loved! 💋

On May 23, 2017, this blog was curated and presented to the world. Today, I celebrate 4 years of it’s existence.

I know many of you are probably wondering where have I been? You’ve been seeing A Word Wednesday videos but you have not seen any blogs, in a really long time. Well to be honest with you, I haven’t felt motivated nor inspired to write. And for me, that is the whole purpose of this blog. I can’t give you all content just to give content and check off a to-do list. This content always has to be meaningful to me and come from my heart. Because how can I expect you all to relate to something I say when I am just writing to write and not saying how I truly feel?

I think another reason I have not written in such a long time is that I began to feel censored. Someone began to state that I was writing blogs that didn’t sound happy or like myself and therefore, something must be wrong with me. And it has taken me this long to really process those comments. Because they have truly missed the purpose and point of this blog. This blog has always been my safe space, a safe space for all really. A way for me to share my own feelings and experiences and it’s always been a bonus that others have been able to reach out saying that they can relate in some shape or form. However, my truth is my truth and my feelings are my feelings. Everyone can’t and won’t always understand or accept that. But I will no longer fear the thoughts of others and will continue to be as vulnerable as I can be and continue to write blogs from a place of passion and love. Passion and love that has been restored and therefore, I can present to you today’s blog — Exhaustion.

This blog has really been months in the making. I initially began writing it in February and then lost the nerve or motivation to continue. But here we are and it’s going to be posted today! And I think it’s nice to see how my feelings have elevated and changed from then to now and I can’t wait to share.

Back in February, someone used the word exhausting to describe how talking to me can be. This word rang in my head for weeks and it really resonated and hit home for me. Because it was not the first time I’ve heard this word and my name used together in a sentence. And it got me thinking. Is this how people truly perceive me? Especially in all my relationships (parents, family, friends, significant others)? Am I just exhausting? Because that is never my intention. I know I have moments where I can be a lot and do a lot. But don’t we all? Can’t we all be? And not too long after all these thoughts ran through my head, I ran across this picture on Instagram (picture below).

And this picture spoke volumes to me. I know that my generation LOVES to throw around the word toxic lol. But I feel this picture really adds value to this beloved word, toxic. Everyone is capable of being toxic – whether intentionally or unintentionally. However, it’s all about whether or not you have the desire to be educated so that you can hold yourself accountable and do better. And I feel all of these go hand in hand with being exhausting.

We all are capable of being exhausting or becoming exhausted, whether intentionally or unintentionally. But we have to be brave enough to examine ourselves and our actions so that we can hold ourselves accountable and move forward to do better. I get exhausted by people and some responsibilities I have. And I know that I have to take time for myself so that I can rest and gather my thoughts. That person I may find exhausting may be dealing with their own problems and may not be able to vocalize them properly. That person may not have any other human interactions and may look forward to pouring out all their feelings to me and rather than me listening, I may write them off due to my own problems. You never know what someone else may be dealing with or even thinking. You never know how heavy your words can be to them.

So yes, I may be exhausting. But I know myself and my worth. Someone may find me exhausting and someone else may find me lovable, courageous, strong, etc. Different strokes for different folks as they say. And just because someone may misunderstand me, doesn’t mean that their definition truly defines who I am entirely. I know that I can be a lot, but I know that I also deal with a lot. And I know that I can hold myself accountable for my shortcomings all while loving my perfectly imperfect self. Those that matter won’t mind (or understand) and those who matter, don’t mind. That is life. Everyone isn’t meant to be in your life. And that is A-OKAY. And some people are here for seasons to teach you some lesson and leave. This person helped to ignite the fire inside of me to write and to appreciate me for who I am – and not trying to be who anyone else wants me to be. I was exhausted by all of my roles and responsibilities, yet I still wanted to do it all even though I had no energy, and still wanted people who barely know me to like me. But for what?

This blog is entitled exhaustion because exhaustion is REAL. It can be brought upon by being tired of people, things, activities, and so much more. This blog is also entitled exhaustion because months ago, in February, someone reminded me that I can be exhausting. An adjective that really hit me hard when used to describe myself. But also opened up food for thought for myself, especially about some things I never really pondered on too long. I needed to take accountability for my past actions in people’s lives, especially when I’ve hurt others or ran them off. I didn’t realize then that I needed to hear these words in order to hold myself accountable and move forward. But I did. The word exhausting brought about a much-needed lesson and reminder for me.

I think it is important to REST, RESET, and REFOCUS when you can, as often as needed. And I challenge you all to remember that people will always have something to say about you, whether it is negative or positive. And if anything else, you must remain true to yourself. Hold yourself accountable and use your past mistakes and behavior as a lesson to do better and be better moving forward. And above all else, remember to love yourself ALWAYS because you deserve to be loved.

“I had to take ownership of redefining my sense of self so that I could discover my purpose. And that meant embracing time alone, a season of complete solitude. Transforming on my own wasn’t my first choice, but it’s grown to be my most treasured. Being alone showed me that I could shed, release & outgrow anything, including my old ways and bad habits, that didn’t serve me well.”
– After the Rain by Alex Elle

God is truly intentional. And sometimes he will send signs to reaffirm his intention in your life and his intention for your life. 

I became inspired to write this post last week. However, as I laid in bed Saturday night reading After the Rain (excerpt above), God reaffirmed my blog post as well as my current feelings and place in life. I hope Alex Elle’s words resonate with you as much as they did with me. And if nothing else, I hope my following words can touch you in some way. 

Currently, I have been focused on my current place in life and this has included resting (as mentioned in my previous blog) and embracing time alone. It isn’t always comfortable being alone and honestly with covid-19 it is even more uncomfortable. But you can not grow in comfort and it is necessary to take time for yourself, no matter where you are in your life. I know God is calling me to heal and to grow in this season right now and that means I have to be uncomfortable to carry on.

As mentioned above, being alone can produce revelations. Sometimes you have to take a step back & reevaluate everything and to view situations with a new perspective. You can’t keep blaming everyone and everything else for your troubles, sadness, disappointment, and the list of emotions continues. Everyone else can’t always be the problem or the root cause. Sometimes you have to look at the common denominator. Sometimes you have to look at YOU. You have to call yourself out on your bad habits and ways. Not only must you call yourself out, but you must also look at how you can evolve and grow. Reevaluation is not meant to be a pity party, okay? But it is a time for you to face uncomfortable truths and use these truths to fuel how you act moving forward.

Once you have evaluated yourself and see things for what they truly you are, then you just have to accept things for what they are. This is easier said than done, trust. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you haven’t learned from these past scenarios, situations, moments. But acceptance does mean that you can call yourself out for YOUR wrongdoing and make a conscious effort to not repeat the same behavior moving forward if possible. And it means accepting the past for what it is. We can’t live in the past AND the present, we will always be stuck in the past. We have to forgive ourselves and move forward. We can take a moment to acknowledge the past but we must recognize we can not stay there in that moment, in the past. Sometimes it is uncomfortable to really look at past relationships and situations and point out your own flaws, bad habits and ways. But if you can’t be real with yourself, who really can?

We can not always sugarcoat things, especially not with ourselves. Because if we are not being honest, then we will never see a problem until it’s too late. And we have to be able to acknowledge and accept that we can’t go back in time to fix things, we can only focus on the now and how we move forward.

I am in a season of solidarity & evaluation. And as I reflect on situations and relationships that didn’t always go my way, I also see how I played a part in the downfall or demise. If anyone is reading this that I have ever hurt in any way shape or form, I truly apologize. I am not perfect and I don’t think I have everything all figured out. But I am processing towards the woman God has called me to be and he is allowing me to see these truths revealed.

Acceptance is not always pretty, but it is so necessary on the journey of healing and growth. So I first challenge you all to take some time for you. It’s okay to have moments to yourself. It’s okay to reflect on YOU and make a conscious effort to grow and evolve. Redefining your sense of self can be challenging and that is okay. Everything isn’t mean to be a piece of cake or a walk in the park. And continuing on difficult journeys make the reward that much worthwhile. I’m still on my journey and loving every moment of it, even the uncomfortableness I feel now. Love on yourselves a little harder today and see how you can evaluate & reevaluate yourself to evolve into the person God has called you to be!

I haven’t wrote a blog in a while. But I’ve been meaning to. I’ll always start a piece but then I always find an excuse to not post as well. And it becomes a never-ending cycle of nothing ever getting done. I also feel like I have been forcing myself to write. Forcing myself to say – “Hey I posted a blog Sunday. My heart wasn’t in it, but I did it. I was consistent.” And that is just not me. I have to write from my heart, through & all through. Therefore, it’s been a while since my last blog post. But here I am.

A lot has happened since my last blog.

• I became the workshop coordinator for an amazing nonprofit focused on mentoring & empowering young ladies.
• I started graduate school. So I’m working full time & in school.
• I got a new title at work. So I have a few more responsibilities at work.
• I launched my brand apparel —> unveiledbyjannaalane.com. This has been a long time coming & I am so excited.
• I turned 24. This just happened, so it’s still fresh haha
  & more.

And as I approached my 24th birthday, my mind began racing & hasn’t stopped since. I’ve been very inspired & reflective . So much reflection has occurred that my heart has been calling me back to my first love, writing. 

Tuesday, I logged out of my personal Instagram and decided to take a step back. I can have three hours of free time but my hands will be drawn to my phone & my finger will tap on Instagram and get lost. I need some time for me, some time to step back from the world a little and have some deep self-care. I’ll keep up my brand’s Instagram but I’m not holding myself to post every day. I am holding myself to taking a breather, however long this lasts. I am holding myself to staying in my word and with God. I am holding myself to not feeling like I have to do it all – because I don’t.

Y’all know I love self-love Sundays, but we must ensure we love ourselves by taking care of ourselves. A well can’t provide any water if it’s dry. And maybe that’s why I haven’t been writing. I’ve been inspired but whenever I’ve tried, nothing ever felt complete. Maybe I was slowly becoming less & less full as I poured myself into everything and everyone else. But now I’m refilling myself by being with myself and enjoying the silence, the peace.

So I am resting as best as I know how. I still have life to deal with and priorities to take care of. But my Instagram is not apart of my personal journey of rest right now. Nor is trying to be everywhere or everything to be everyone but myself.

We all need to step away and rest. Everything you need to do will still be around and you can still accomplish your goals. But our bodies can not function properly or at our best without rest. We can try to make our bodies function with no rest, but the outcome won’t always be the prettiest thing. I challenge you all to take comfort in knowing it’s okay to rest. It’s okay to take time for yourself, no matter how long that period may be. Sometimes you need to refill yourself so you won’t burn out and run completely dry. Know that you are not alone nor crazy for needing this time, it’s necessary. Take care of yourselves & love on yourself a little extra today.

Until next time,

Self-love is the best love.

Self-love can take many forms and shapes. It will always look different for different people. However, the point of it all is always the same; regard for one’s own well-being and happiness. Love yourself always, because YOU deserve to be loved.

I know that the journey of self-love isn’t always picture perfect, but it is necessary and important. And for me, vulnerability has been an important aspect and component of my journey.

Merriam-Webster defines the word vulnerable as being able to be easily physically, emotionally, or mentally hurt, influenced, or attacked. This definition inspired some thoughtful analysis from me, because when I use the word this is not the definition that I keep in mind. So I will share with you all what I think of when I utilize this word.

For me, being vulnerable highlights the ability to be open and honest, revealing information that is near and dear to you and your story. Being vulnerable is allowing someone else to be there for you, even though it may be scary for you. Being vulnerable is disregarding popular and public opinion and sharing your story, because it may positively impact someone. Being vulnerable takes courage and is so necessary in order for us to be OUR true, authentic selves.

I want to reach others. I want to positively impact at least one person’s life. But how can I do that if I’m a closed book? I have to be vulnerable. I have to share what is in my heart. And if you know me, then you know I am shy. I am very personable, but I am also VERY shy – so it can be a battle for me, but it is necessary.

So as I sit and reflect on my self-love journey, that is still a work in progress, I can recognize my growth. I would always be very nervous to share, so I’d share the bits and pieces I would want the world to see. Not always willing to share it ALL, the good, bad, and ugly. But I have to have courage to share it all because the ugly and bad are the most relatable parts of my story. I am so thankful for growth and for being vulnerable, no matter how uncomfortable it can become.

On this lovely self-love Sunday, I challenge you all to be vulnerable in some form or fashion at some point in time. Why? I believe this quote says it best, “Vulnerability is terrifying. The courage it takes to reveal your heart is one of the most daunting..and yet rewarding experiences in life. It will set you free.”  – The Better Man Project
Let’s all have courage and be set free in the power of our truth. And you never know how your courage, your truth, and your vulnerability may impact someone else.

“My life is not my own
To you I belong
I give myself, I give myself to you.”
– My Life is Not My Own by William McDowell

As humans, we think that life is something that is owed to us. But it’s not. Life is not owed to us; because what did WE do to deserve life? Life is a gift, a blessing. Every breath we breathe is a blessing. Every night we go to sleep and wake up in the morning is a blessing. God breathed into us so that we may have life, and have life more abundantly. However, we think that this life is ours to live and do as we please. Yet, this is not the case at all. Sometimes we learn this over time, through revelation. Sometimes, some of us learn this the hard way. Regardless of how we learn these lessons, the simple truth of the matter is that our lives belong to the Lord. Therefore, there will be a day when we are called back home to Jesus. In preparation for this time, we have to live more abundantly while we are on this earth and we have to love while we can.

There is a popular saying that life is short. I know I say this a lot as a voice of reason or justification. But life truly is short. We can’t control every aspect of life and we certainly are not aware of when our time will come. So we must love while we still have time, we must love while we can. Personally, I feel I was called to love and share my love abundantly. And I don’t want to reach my final days of life and question whether I shared my love without question. I don’t want anyone to have these doubts or thoughts of not doing enough while they had the time to do so. So I challenge you all to love while you can.

I am a lover. I love to express love, whether I’m expressing love to family, friends, or my community. However, I have often questioned the way that I love. There have been times where I felt like I was doing too much and needed to tone my behavior done, to tone down my expression. I’ve also felt like there have been times when I didn’t express my love enough. Honestly, I have felt these ways because of society and the various social norms that have been set regarding love and vulnerability. I can try to please society or I can please God. I choose God. The God that I serve operates in facts, not fiction, and certainly not in popularity. He had to remind me of these things. He had to remind me that just because society sets this image or standard doesn’t mean that that is the standard he has set. He wants me to love and to share HIS love with others. And why shouldn’t I share his love? He’s been so good to me and I have no reason NOT to love on those around me when I can, as much as I can.

How do I know that God wants me to share his love? Because the Bible tells me so.
1 John 4:7-8 “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
John 13:34-35 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
And the list goes on and on. I encourage you all to check out more passages as you get time. But I want you all to realize that God loves us and he has given us love and expects us to love one another.

We all have different ways of expressing our love and that is perfectly fine! Some ways that we can express love include: through acts of kindness, through our behavior, and with the use of our words. The list for ways to express love goes on and on. Think about how you express your love, how you express God’s love. No matter how you express love, make sure that you are loving while you can because life is too short. Also, know that. I am not saying to run yourself dry but I do encourage you to live without regrets.

Today’s blog was inspired by and dedicated to my dear cousin, Daniel Pruiett. He passed away on Friday, July 17. He had no problem sharing his love and should be an inspiration to us all. His death inspired me to reflect on my expressions of love and to do better.

Share love more abundantly and share love while you can.

In memory of Daniel Pruiett