2020 has been a (hell of a) year hasn’t it? But if you are reading this, you have endured 2020. A lot has happened this year. And if you are reflecting on your year, as many of us do as we approach the new year, then you are probably thinking that a lot of things did not go your way or the way you envisioned. But that is okay. You survived 2020 and I have faith you can survive in the future. While we don’t know what 2021 has in store for us, just know that you can endure AND find peace and happiness in the midst of your trials and hardship.
With all that being said,
I think one of the hardest things in life is letting go. Whether it be letting go of a relationship, letting go of plans that don’t seem to be occurring on the timeline you envisioned and the list continues. And 2020 forced me to open my eyes and begin letting go.
“Letting go has never been my strength. If I were a tree, I’d be scared out of my mind that my leaves would never return. But in my ideal world, change wouldn’t incite fear. Instead, it would encourage shedding as part of the natural process of becoming whole and lush.”
– After the Rain by Alex Elle
Personally, I have trouble letting go. And I think the Alex Elle quote above takes my feelings about letting go and translates them into words so eloquently. For me, letting go incites fear. Fear of the unknown and fear of change. I like to be in control and take comfort in knowing I have some say in my life. I’ve never liked change. When I was little it was a hard concept for me to grasp. Once I got used to a pattern & enjoyed things a certain way, I wished they would never change – like staying with my favorite teacher and not getting new ones. However, as I grow older and continue to evolve, I understand that change is necessary and important, no matter how scary it may seem. Letting go is apart of that change.
This year was uncomfortable for me. I didn’t know how I thought 2020 would go, but I did have some ideas outlined of what I wanted. 202 forced me to step outside of Janna’s plan and heed to God’s plan wholeheartedly.
In 2020, I have done a lot of soul searching. I wouldn’t say it all began as intentional. I would say God forced me to stop what I was doing and open my eyes to truly evaluate myself and my life. In opening my eyes, I began to search my soul. This searching included recognizing and accepting the not so pleasant parts of myself, the parts I try not to dwell on but also the parts of me that push away the people I love and care for, the scenarios in which I have been the problem. And in this searching, I had to be comfortable with the uncomfortable.
I am not good at goodbyes. I love hard. I always try to hold on a little longer than I should and try to make relationships with friends and family work when the expiration date has passed. I examine my past wrongdoings and think of how I could’ve/should’ve/would’ve done better but didn’t. Not perfect, progressing So letting go is an art I am still in the process of mastering. But I understand it’s importance.
Today, I am letting go of the things I can not control. I am letting go of failed relationships, broken trust, promises, and so much more. Not only am I am doing this today, but I plan to let go of what is not meant for me or my life as I move forward as needed.
If you take nothing away from my blogs of 2020, please take today’s message to heart.
I challenge you all to let it go.
Let go of that hurt, you can be healed. Let go of the past, you no longer live there. You are ever-changing, evolving, and growing. But how can you grow when you carry dead weight and baggage?
2020 was something. But you don’t have to carry the weight of 2020 into 2021. You can release what you need in order to move forward and continue on this journey of life. And even if you don’t leave everything behind today, you can begin your journey of letting go so you can grow and live your life for YOU and not live replaying the hurt and regrets of the past.
