Hello, my love readers & Happy Wednesday!
Today’s blog is heavily inspired by my personal feelings, especially the way that I have been feeling lately. But I feel like my feelings are very relatable. I think everyone experiences these feelings from time to time, no matter who you are. What a yucky way to feel, but I am grateful for the inspiration for this blog. So at least they were good for something. I hope you all enjoy this post!

Feeling burned out? Unmotivated? Drained? Well, me too! Are you working hard this summer while your friends seem to be enjoying themselves every day? Me, too! First, I want to let you know that we can’t compare what we’re doing to what our friends are. We all have different things going on in our lives, different goals, different desires. But most importantly, there is one thing we can do when these overwhelming feelings overtake us and make us feel completely lazy and lost, we can keep pushing. We can work through these feelings and accomplish what we need to for that day, that week, that month. We must keep going, despite how we feel. Always.

 It’s the summer and I feel like I haven’t been doing activities that you’re “supposed” to do in the summer. I haven’t really traveled, I haven’t really hung out with friends and documented our activities with photos, and I most definitely haven’t just slept all day. I work an internship from 9 am until 5 pm Monday – Friday. And this internship isn’t down the street, it’s a smooth 50-minute drive with some traffic, but I am so thankful and blessed to have this opportunity. But, I would be lying if I said I am filled with energy every day, because that is not the case. I am not a morning person, at all. I like to stay up late, sleep in, the works. But this summer I have been going to bed earlier, waking up early, commuting, and working. And not to mention I am also enrolled in summer classes. Along with maintaining my blog and all the other responsibilities I have on my plate. All things I am more than happy to be involved with. Now this paragraph wasn’t written to complain, but just to give you all a little background for today’s blog and my feelings.

Some days I am tired. Some days I am exhausted. And recently I have been feeling completely drained. I just want to sleep, sleep, and sleep. I see my friends living their best summer lives and I’m like, “I wish.” I was listening to a song the other day & one of the lyrics really stood out to me, “My feelings can’t control my destiny.” And this really hit me. Because even though I may be tired temporarily, I may be sad temporarily, upset or however I am feeling now, that doesn’t change my pursuit of my goals. I may be a little discouraged, but I still have things I want to accomplish. I have places I want to go. And being sad for a moment, can’t stop me, shouldn’t stop me, from achieving everything I plan on achieving.

We can’t always control our lives. We can’t always control how situations will make us feel or how every situation will go. But we can control how we push through. Your goals don’t care how you feel. They will always be there, regardless of your temporary feelings. And you can’t let what’s temporary stop you from living your best life. Your goals are your goals for a reason. They hold a significance to you, otherwise you wouldn’t have made them your goals. For instance, I really wanted this internship because I feel it is a stepping stone to beginning my professional career after college. So, my internship has a purpose, honestly, any internship serves a purpose and you must see that as an opportunity to network! I had to put my feelings aside and look at my life, goals, wants, and desires. Having some solitude and time to think really helped me to drown the loudness of my feelings and focus on productivity. I just want you all to know that I am feeling very renewed.

When I was at work yesterday, I became inspired to write this post. I haven’t been feeling like myself. But I couldn’t let that stop me from blogging on Sunday, turning in my first article to the paper, going to work, or even writing this blog today. I may be tired, but my tiredness is for a reason. I have so much that I want to accomplish, and this season of tiredness has inspired me to keep going. Even if I don’t feel the best, that shouldn’t stop me from doing my best.  Trust me, I get how easy it can be to become consumed with your feelings. This consumption will have you wanting to throw you’re a pity party. And maybe you can do that for a second, literally a second, but then you must see how you can use these feelings to motivate you. What’s making you sad and how can this feeling make you more determined than ever to accomplish your goal? Or prove your doubters wrong? Or even prove to yourself that you refuse to let your feelings dictate your life.

Everyone gets lazy. Everyone gets drained. So, take a moment to gather yourself. Do what you must get refreshed, renewed, and restored. And once you get over that little bump in the road called emotions, come back stronger than before. Yes, I am still tired. Yes, I still want to nap. BUT, I want to accomplish some things before I nap. I want to do my work before I begin to chill for the day. Don’t let laziness win! Even when you feel sad, remember that your goals are still there. And they do not care if you’re sad, upset, or hurt. Think of ways to overcome your feelings and be productive, even if things aren’t going your way. Because I guarantee you that you will look back thinking of all the ways you could’ve been productive while you were letting your feelings win. Today I challenge you to keep pushing in productivity and not to be immersed by how you feel!

Last week I had a come to Jesus meeting, with Jesus & myself. The prayer & conversation that I had with the Lord, which lasted over the course of a few days was well needed, refreshing, and so rejuvenating. I feel like a new woman.
I hiked up Kennesaw mountain early one morning by myself because I wanted to see the sun rise, talk to God, and read my daily devotional book. When I tell you that scene was so breathtaking and beautiful. Seeing the sun rise over those mountains, over the city of Kennesaw, made me feel so small. And I was instantly reminded of the magnitude of the Lord and how he has blessed me, in spite of me.

See I have been struggling with my flesh. The desires of my flesh and all those feelings associated with it, such as jealousy, anger, pettiness, greed, etc. When I say I have been struggling, I mean I have literally been fighting against selfish thoughts and acts. However, this doesn’t mean that I haven’t given in to these things. Because I have. But, in those moments when I let my flesh win, I have felt so conflicted and not at peace. Saturday I told my boyfriend we were going to church no matter what. He overslept, I tried to wake him up, and when he finally woke up there was only about 30 minutes left before church ended. & I hate being late, so once again I succumbed to my flesh and just said I would stay home. However, he went to get dressed and came back to pick me up. And we went to church, late and all. But the message we received was well needed and for me, it further explained the feelings and emotions I had been dealing with. The message clarified everything for me in a way that I wouldn’t have been able to do on my own.

The guest speaker preached from two very powerful scriptures. However, the one that stood out most to me was Ephesians 4:31-32
³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
And these verses deeply touched me because I have been holding onto bitterness and rage, all those emotions and feelings of my flesh. I’ve been choosing to hold onto these emotions and not be forgiving or not letting go. But Christ has forgiven me, he continues to forgive me. So why can’t I? 
It was there at church, listening to these words, listening to the speaker share her story and how she has forgiven, that I realized I had been holding onto my flesh and that I had to and needed to let go and forgive because if I didn’t, I would continue to feel conflicted and bothered. 

See, the thing I have been lacking is focus. I have been focused on every other thing but the Lord. And these emotions have weighted me down. However, since last week, and especially since Sunday, I have been making a conscious effort to talk to the Lord. I have been praying daily, multiple times a day, and I praise him. I talk to him in the morning in my bed, on the way to work, in the shower, and when I get ready to go to bed. Things I could have been doing before, but because I felt so “busy,” I didn’t. I lost my focus. And even though I’m doing better, I can still do more. Focus more.

But I have been feeling so amazing lately. I am actively making an effort to be obedient to God, in spite of what my flesh wants. He has comforted me and eased all worry, doubt, anxiety, etc. It is not easy, but I am willing to sacrifice and grow. I know that God will strengthen me and encourage me.
What are you focused on? Have you lost your focus? The good news is, God loves us regardless of when we fall short of him. So begin anew today, and each day. Talk to the Lord and thank him, watch how he uplifts you and moves in your life. I guarantee you will see a change, I have.

My mind has been wandering all week about what I should write about, so much so that when I was studying for one of my finals, I wanted to stop and write a blog. I had a topic in mind, but I didn’t want to “go there.” But here I am going there. And if you know me, like really know me, you know that this going there isn’t easy for me. It’s scary to share but I hope that it helps any of you reading this.

I’ve never been one to not be in tune with my feelings. Unless it means sharing with others, that’s something I don’t do. I don’t want to appear weak. But being in tune with your feelings, expressing them and not pushing them aside is actually a sign of strength and not weakness. So here goes, here’s my story.

I have never been one to “fit in” with the “in” crowd. And I am about to tell you why. I was always bullied, beginning in elementary school. I was natural back before natural became a part of popular culture. Meaning, I was one of few natural girls in school, meaning I only got my hair straightened once a month if that. Now, imagine if all of the girls have perms (or relaxers, whichever term you prefer) and you’re the one rocking that puffy pony tail which was considered “nappy.” I’ll never forget one day on the bus when it was raining and I was sitting in the last seat on the bus next to the window, next to one of the baddest boys in my third grade class. He told me to put the window up, but this was my first time on the bus, I didn’t know how to, and didn’t want to try & fail. So I sat there. Even though he was about to get off, even though it wasn’t raining hard, even though he was bald, he said, “Well it doesn’t matter cause your head is nappy anyways so get wet.” I was in the third grade and those words stung so bad and stayed with me longer than I knew.

In middle school, I got picked on for being “too light,” which made me self-conscious about my skin and myself in general. My skin color was compared to packets of mustard and my “blackness” was questioned. It shouldn’t have bothered me, because I know that I am black, but those words hurt and I always felt the need to prove myself. In high school, my mom let me decide what I wanted to do with my hair, trying to be like everyone else, trying to fit in, I decided to get a perm. Then got a little too carried away and started curling my hair almost every other day. People always saw me as a saint, miss do-good, so I also tried to let go of those perceptions as well in any way that I could, dressing like others and using languages that others did. Because being different bothered me to my core.

Last month, I finally shared an original spoken word about my battle with finding myself. It didn’t go into detail, barely touched the surface, but that was a step for me. And recognizing how these past situations have affected me are also a part of my journey. However, I have never been so in love with myself. I am different. I am not like anyone else, and that is fine. I have natural hair again, praise God. I wear what I want and I LOVE the complexion of my skin. I also voice MY OPINION in MY OWN WAY, regardless of what others believe or how they feel. I am not perfect, in any way. And most importantly, I am still growing, every day. Still getting better and becoming more accepting. But no matter what, I am so proud of the woman I am and the woman I am growing to be.

This was super long, but I have shared all of this for a purpose. Some people think i have everything figured out, that I just have everything and have always had things my way. But that is not my reality. It’s what you perceive. Like I said before, people’s opinions do not matter. Because if we try to please them or care about what they say/think, that would be a lifelong process.

Hopefully this post impacted you, even in the slightest way. Stop, take a moment and love yourself today. Be kind and patient with yourself. Don’t listen to what others say.  One of my favorite authors stated, “What matters most is how you see yourself.” And this statement is so true, because we are all beautiful in our own way. But YOU, yourself, have to see this beauty.

It may be Skincare Sunday, but also remember, it’s Self-Love Sunday, as well. So love yourself a little harder today.

Hello my beautiful people.
This weekend, I had the distinct honor and privilege to attend the Southwestern Black Student Leadership Conference (SBSLC) in College Station, Texas on the campus of Texas A&M University. This was my first time traveling to Texas and my first time attending this conference. And I only have one word to describe this experience: outstanding.

This conference has expanded my horizons as a leader, through various workshops and keynote speakers. I attended workshops entitled, “Getting in Our Own Way: The Degradation of Student Organizations,” ‘Leaving Your Mark: Empowering & Mentoring Others,” a writing workshop, and so much more. During this conference, I examined myself as a leader and my organization as a whole. And I brought back a mental list of improvements I want to make.

This year, I charge to be better than I was last year. And I want you all to do the same. I have never been surrounded by so many black leaders dressed in business professional attire. And I must say, it was a sight to see. But you don’t have to be considered a leader to be classified as black excellence. Black excellence is you starting your own business, following your dreams, participating in an organization, continuing on even when the odds are against you. Black excellence comes in many shapes and sizes. But I want you to know that it is out there. There are black people who are doing some amazing things. They give younger generations something to aspire towards, something to hope for. Even if you don’t always receive recognition, just know that I see you, someone sees you, and most importantly YOU see what you’re trying to accomplish.

So today challenge yourself. First, challenge yourself to get out of your way. Stop being your biggest critic, it’s okay to not always succeed. However, when you fail, the key is to continue on. Secondly, keep pursuing your goals and desires, even if everyone and everything seems to be against you. Oprah didn’t always have it easy (and is she not an example we look to for black excellence), so why should you? And most importantly, find a way to leave your mark in this world, doing what you love and are passionate about, and ultimately showcase your black excellence.

Love,
Janna Alane

 

Hello all and Happy Saturday!

In honor of the new year and this newfound motivation, I have totally revamped my blog & its look. I am soo excited about this and hopefully you all enjoy this new look.

The word of the month is elevation.

In my last blog I reflected on my year in 2017 and listed some goals that I wish to achieve in 2018. On my list, I mentioned how I wanted to better my relationship with God, grow, and also step out of my comfort zone. And the other day I began to ponder on this new year, new month, and what I wanted to do this month. One word summed up everything I wanted to accomplish and the end result of these goals: elevation.

The other day, my sister-in-law was talking about how her church was doing the Daniel Fast and so I talked to my boyfriend about it. He mentioned that he had done it before and how it was such a phenomenal experience for him because he really grew closer to God through this fast. So this encouraged me to research the fast a little more. And as a result, tomorrow I will begin the Daniel Fast. I will keep you all updated at the end of the month once it is over. I know that by participating in this fast, I am definitely stepping out my comfort zone (Doing something I have never done before, but always wanted to), making an effort to better my relationship with God, and allowing myself to elevate mentally and spiritually.

So my challenge to you all this month is: to think about what you can do to elevate yourself. To elevate means to be raised to a higher level. What is something you have always wanted to do, but never had the courage to? What step(s) can you take to begin the pursuit of a goal you have? How can you better yourself?

There is no time better than the present. So begin to elevate yourselves spiritually, mentally, physically, however you see fit. And remember, this year we aren’t just talking about our goals, but seeing how we can bring them into fruition. This is only the beginning of my fruition and elevation. How will you elevate this month & this year?

Love,
Janna Alane

 

Happy Sunday my lovely people!

I really want to apologize for my inconsistency these last two weeks, but I promise it’s only because school has begun. Now that I am all settled in, I will definitely do better. And I have so many ideas for topics that deal with college coming up soon.

Today’s post is about coming back to reality.  For some of us, depending on our title or occupation, summer is a time of relaxation and recuperation. And I promise that is exactly what this summer was for me. I worked at Forever21, but I was also able to enjoy time off from school. But I can not lie to you, I missed being at school. I’m not saying I missed the schoolwork, but I missed being busy and always on the go, I know yall may be like “What is she talking about,”  but in my hometown there’s really not much to do, but I did enjoy being around my family.

These past two weeks have been filled with plans, events, and lots of schoolwork. I haven’t been stressed yet so I’m praying in advance for that moment when it comes.

I just wanted to write this post to welcome all of you back to the real world. For those of you who have freshly graduated and now are embarking on the real world, good luck to you. For those of you who are starting college, coming back to college, or even beginning any level of education, good luck to you. Remember that you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. When situations seem tough and you feel that you can not make it, pray. I promise God will never put more on you than bare. Things you thought you couldn’t handle, God will make it possible for you to leap over these things with ease (I promise!). No matter what you go through, I promise you can and will make it out of the situation!  And if you ever need a little extra encouragement, I promise I will be here with my posts to try and make your day a little easier. I’m praying this new season is wonderful for you all!

 

Love,

Janna Alane

(Disclaimer: This blog will be a little personal, but I hope you all LOVE it.)

“Love yourself first”

This quote is one of the most impactful quotes I have ever heard about self love. How can we expect others to love who we are, if we can’t love who we are? If we can’t see the beauty in our imperfections and flaws, that we often view as shortcomings?

 I think one of the most rewarding things I have ever done, was to learn how to love myself. When I say love myself, I mean love myself with all my ugly scars, imperfections, and flaws. This self love did not occur overnight. And I can truly say that I have been on a constant journey of self love. I have had good days and bad days in regards to how I felt about myself, I still have good days and bad days. But I must say that this journey has been very fulfilling. This summer I have really realized my worth and beauty, and I’m not just speaking on my physical beauty. I’m talking about my internal beauty as well. It’s so easy to pinpoint my flaws and errors, but difficult to highlight my positive attributes and characteristics. So this summer I charged myself with the task of not wearing makeup. I realized how dependent I was on wearing it to enhance my beauty. I am not against makeup, but my skin was not glowing how I wanted it to. However, this summer has made me fall in love with myself, all over again. I no longer wear foundation or spend an hour in front of the mirror making sure my foundation is blended properly or that my highlight is poppin’ (I do miss my highlight lol). Now, I only do my eyebrows and wear mascara, and still that’s not an everyday thing. I changed my skin care routine, too, and I have noticed a difference! I also drank LOTS of water, much more than normal, and I definitely plan on making this a habit. I can not wait to see how my skin will continue to flourish. I am typing this to say, this summer I was changing internally, realizing how trivial some things were and what really mattered to me. And I also reflected this change on the outside, by letting go of what people would think if they saw me bare faced, brows a mess, etc. I must say I am loving the person I am becoming.

He or she may be exceptional, but you are exceptional too. 

It’s so easy for us to compliment and praise others, but often when it’s time to do so for ourselves, we fall short. We compare ourselves to others and emphasize what we lack that others have. I am telling you DON’T keep this pattern up. You are more than enough just the way you are. She may be pretty, but you are pretty too! She may have these features that you admire, but promise me, someone is seeing features in you that they admire. YOU can see features in you that you admire. And remember, it is okay to embrace your flaws. Nobody is perfect and no one will ever be, no matter how hard we pretend. The things we often dislike about ourselves are the unique things that make us who we are. There will never be another you like you. So yeah, she may be pretty, but you’re pretty too.

“Wish I was comfortable just with myself.”

– Supermodel by SZA

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t constantly belittle yourself or feel like you are falling short. I promise you are not. Be comfortable with you and who you are. And if you’re looking for love from someone, I guarantee you’re looking for it from the wrong person. He/she can and will never love you like YOU love yourself. And how can you let someone love you, when you’re struggling to love yourself? So it’s okay to step back, away from people, and focus on you. Focus on what you want, what you need, and focus on the truly great things about you. The person you thought you were looking for may come along when you least expect it, and if not you’ve always got yourself.

Remember, self love isn’t just about loving yourself for your physical attributes and characteristics, but also loving the way you process situations, the way you don’t crack under pressure OR the way you crack under pressure.

I was VERY excited to write this post today. Hopefully this has been something that everyone can relate to and also encourage you on your own personal journey of self love.

So I leave you with this quote,

“You yourself as much as much as anybody in the entire universe deserves your love and affection.”

– Buddha

Love,

Janna Alane