Today’s post will be a reflection of my 2019 and a look forward towards what 2020 can hold in store. I feel I can’t truly start my 2020 until I reflect on my 2019 because 2019 was a heavy year for me. Things fell apart, things came together, and fell apart again. I cried, laughed, smiled, felt sadness, sorrow, and happiness. All in all, everything worked out according to God’s will and his will for my life.
Grief. Grief is such a sensitive topic. But it is something everyone will experience at one point or another in their lives. I do not think that I have ever truly grieved someone until my grandmother passed away this summer. We live in a society where death and dying are talked about for as little as possible and then we move on, back to our regularly scheduled programs. Of course I have been sad before and cried my little heart out when someone passed away. But all of those deaths I experienced during my adolescence where I was still trying to wrap my head around death and God at the time. My uncle passed away while I was in college and it definitely hit home for me. But maybe I was able to keep it moving because I was distracted by college and all the responsibilities I held. However, these distractions did not exist when my grandmother passed away.
“I don’t know if you’ve ever had a plan for your life and then that door closes and now you’re like, who am I?” We often try to figure things out on our own, without God’s say in our life. If your plan isn’t of him and from him, it may last temporarily, but don’t expect it to be the permanent plan for your life.
How do we heal from hurt? It is such a relevant question. But also, a question I feel we will be asking ourselves and others until the end of time. Hurt can appear in numerous forms and in numerous periods of our life. Each hurt will look and feel different. Therefore, how we overcome each situation will be different as well. I wish there was a magic book that discussed every form of hurt and how to overcome it, that would be perfect. But we don’t live in a perfect world and that is NOT realistic. Even though there’s no one solution fixes all, you can change your mindset in relation to how you view hurt. And even though this won’t completely cause healing immediately, it’s a step. One step in moving forward and healing is better than no steps at all.
How many of you have had moments when you could literally find no reason to smile? When it seems as if all the joy and happiness was sucked out of your life? Well, I promise you are not alone. We have all had moments where it seems as if all odds are against us. But these are the moments in which we need to embrace our happiness and joy even more. Because there are so many more reasons to SMILE than to succumb to any and every thing else.
Love yourself, even when you transition. Maybe love yourself a little more. Because things will be scary and unfamiliar, but also exciting and exhilarating. There are endless possibilities before you. So don’t allow yourself to hold you back due to fear or uncertainty of the unfamiliar or unknown. And because of this unfamiliarity, you’ll be looking for comfort and love in so many things. Unaware of the great affection and comfort you can provide yourself. So love yourself, even when you’re adjusting to your transition. They say there’s beauty in the struggle, so why can’t their be beauty in the unknown, too? Have faith and know that this is just the beginning for you to accomplish any and everything you want. Love yourself and embrace your transition, whatever it may be.
Sometimes in life we experience moments where our life seems to be in a standstill. We don’t know what will happen next and that is truly frightening. It seems as if everything that we planned and hoped for is so far away. We start feeling emotions of frustration and hopelessness. These emotions can put us into a place of deep despair. However, I truly believe these standstills and periods of confusion can lead to new beginnings.
Have you ever made a statement that others didn’t understand? Have you ever explained yourself and people still didn’t know what you meant? Have you ever felt like others are confused by you or your thoughts? Have you ever made a statement similar to, “no one gets me?” Have you ever began to question yourself due to people’s inability to relate or even comprehend you or your thoughts. Everyone experiences these feelings at one point of time or another. These feelings are also associated with being misunderstood.
At some point in time, everyone begins to wonder who am I? This question invokes the process of determining who you are. And this process looks different for everyone, because we are all unique. Trying to determine who you are involves a variety of things, such as determining what you are passionate about. Being passionate about something gives you a sense of purpose, it adds value to your life. Sometimes the journey of finding out who you are can be strenuous, but it is always worthwhile.
Sometimes, the biggest obstacle standing in your way is the person you see when you look in the mirror, yourself. We allow fear, doubt, and a variety of other emotions to overcome ourselves and cloud our judgement. We allow the thought of being uncomfortable to hold us into a place of comfort. No matter what, we can not hold ourselves back. We can not be afraid to evolve and become even better versions of ourselves. We must have faith. We must believe in who we are. We must find our voice.