Happy Self-Love Sunday!

I wanted to write about a number of topics today. So many things have been running through my mind that I felt would be great blog content. I planned on waking up this morning, typing my blog, and posting it before church started. However, God literally had other plans. As I was getting ready this morning, I had an epiphany while having a discussion with a friend. This epiphany, that my friend has no idea occurred, led to me wanting to write about a particular topic. I then decided to write the blog after church. At church, I received several confirmations about this topic that I will be sharing with you all today. God confirmed that this is what HE wanted me to write about and share. So here’s to another self-love Sunday, enjoy!

I experienced a revelation in the midst of talking to my friend this morning as I got ready. Really, the revelation came as I analyzed our conversation. I realized that I’ve been in a weird stage in my life for a while now. And ultimately, this stage has involved me attempting to figure things out. Up until now, I thought that I was figuring things out in my life. However, I realized that MY figuring things out involved what I thought was either best for me or what I deemed as a solution, but NOT what God has planned for me. So safe to say, figuring it out hasn’t been going the best for me lol.

During church, I received confirmation that I should write this topic today. During praise and worship, one of the song’s discussed how the battle is the Lord’s. Then, the sermon for today discussed what do I do for my next and your personal story. This sermon literally touched my heart in so many ways. I could just relate. As Pastor Johnson Bowie began to share his personal story he said, “I don’t know if you’ve ever had a plan for your life and then that door closes and now you’re like, who am I?” And I felt these words along with almost EVERY word he and his wife preached went so well with how I wanted to discuss, figuring things out.

I am a planner. Always have been. Therefore, I had a plan for my life. Or what I thought would be the plan for my life. My junior year and senior year of college, God took what I thought was the end-all be-all plan for my life and threw it away. Thus, invoking the question, “who am I?” See, he knew that the plans I had weren’t what he had planned for me, but I didn’t. I thought my plan came from God, but it came from me. And if your plan isn’t of him and from him, it may last temporarily, but don’t expect it to be the permanent plan for your life. When we become comfortable or so focused on what we want that we no longer move forward, God has to make us so uncomfortable that we begin to walk again. And he cleans our ears out, so that they can be tuned to him. It’s up to us to make the choice to listen or not. And if you don’t listen, the cycle will just continue until you do. Trust me, I know.

I entered into my senior year of college so broken. I tried to suppress my feelings and keep it moving because so many people were dependent on me for so many things. After months of brokenness, right before graduation, God placed a plan before me for life after college. I thought with this newfound plan that I needed to be completely whole to succeed. So I attempted to put my pieces back together BUT as Pastor Johnson also mentioned in church today, “we are incapable of putting our broken pieces together again to make something beautiful, only God can.” The epiphany I had this morning was in regards to me figuring things out for my life, but when I went to church I realized that I’ve really been trying to put my own broken pieces together. And things haven’t been working out, because I haven’t let GOD put my pieces back together. I haven’t fully admitted to all of the emotions and feelings that I have felt and currently feel so that I can allow him to heal me. After praise and worship, God spoke to me. During the sermon, he spoke to me. And when the sermon was over and we were praying, God spoke to me and the tears just fell from my face. I am sharing all of this to say, that you do not have to have it all figured out.  You certainly can not figure it all out on your own. Allow God to work in your life. Allow him to put you back together if you need. Allow him to have his way. Today, I am challenging myself to let God put my pieces back together again.

Figuring things out isn’t a linear process and it involves someone greater than ourselves. Waiting for God’s word and timing is not easy! It won’t happen like you want nor will it happen when you want. But, that is why faith is so important. Have faith knowing that it will happen. Remain faithful in the waiting. Good things take time. You couldn’t graduate from college until you completed elementary, middle school, high school (or received a GED), and your college curriculum. There’s always a process and order. We just may not see this process or understand it, but I truly believe God knows what is best and is working it all out for our good. Today, I challenge you all to listen to God and let him move in your life. I’m letting go of my pride and letting my guard down, to let God put my pieces back together. Will you let him work in your life, too?