Einstein once said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. This is a quote that I’ve heard many times in my life. However, often times I felt I heard this quote and never really paid attention to it. During my years as an undergraduate college student, one of my friends used to say this quote so often I was over hearing it. Internally, I was always like “omgg if I hear this one more time.” But now I realize I never really HEARD the phrase. The quote went in one ear and out the other. I was there listening but not truly listening. But I can say now as a 25 year old woman who has been through many experiences, situations, life lessons, and emotions this quote now hits different. 

Recently, I think that I have been going in cycles and expecting change. I’ve been doing the same things over and over and over again. I was hopeful and expectant for a new, different, better result. I was honestly living out the definition of insanity. I thought the longer I continued to do what I was doing, that the change and result I wanted would come…eventually. But just because we hope and wish for something to occur doesn’t mean that it will. Hopes, wishes, and wants also don’t dictate reality. Sometimes wishing and dreaming makes us feel better than actually facing the truth of reality.

My recent prayers have been for God to reveal AND remove situations, people and things that aren’t for me, that aren’t what He has planned for my life and myself. The thing about God is that he does answer us, it may not be when we want him to but he does. AND the other important thing is, that we may not like the answer he gives us. There’s a reel on Instagram that displays this exact sentiment. The reel is about a person praying to God and their supposed conversation together. I’ll copy the words below:
Start Reel…
Person praying: Lord it’s 2022 give me direction for my life this year.
God responding back: Start going to the gym
Person praying: Give me something else
God responding back: Eat healthier
Person praying: Nah give my something else.
God responding back: Stop shopping on Amazon
Person praying: Never..nevermind
End Reel.

This conversation is a literal example of our prayers and how we pick and choose what we want to hear. So I must call myself out this time because I have been GUILTYYY of this as of late for sure. As I mentioned above, I prayed a similar prayer regarding direction for my life but specific to situations I was in and/or thinking about being involved in and people I had relationships with. God was giving me signs over the course of some weeks. I heard them but was questioning if it was really God and honestly just flat out ignoring him. So sometimes God has to change his whispers, to speaking in a hushed tone, to literal YELLING or speaking to you in a way that He knows we can’t deny or ignore. And last week, I truly feel God did that for me. He was like you’ve been ignoring me for far too long and you keep praying this SAME prayer, so it’s now time to listen. 

Sometimes self-love looks like breaking cycles and letting go. Letting go of things and people you know aren’t good for you. Things and people you haven’t removed from your life because you enjoy how these things and people make you feel sometimes, but deep down there’s a part of you that knows this isn’t right for you. Today, I challenge you all to prayer a similar prayer OR to begin your own internal analysis. Allow your brain to think about the people, things, and cycles you’ve been continuing even though you’re questionable about them. Is the temporary joy worth staying in the cycle? Or is the harm these situations, people, and cycles can bring (or have already brought) enough for you to want change? I don’t want us to keep doing the same things over and over while expecting a different result, because then it’s inevitable for us to end up in a never ending cycle. Take the courage to speak up and let go. It’s hard. It’s not easy. It can be hurtful and painful. And every day won’t be butterflies and sunshine, there will be sadness and tears TRUST. But I have faith that the hard work of ending cycles and letting go will provide more than a temporary joy and happiness, more of a longterm happiness and joy that will be so worthwhile. And I challenge you all to remember to love yourselves because YOU deserve to be loved (by you)!