Happy Self-Love Sunday & welcome to the month of August!

I hope this month is filled with favor & prosperity for you all. I pray that for all you students, like myself, that this school year is filled with all A’s and memorable experiences! Honestly, I hope you make the best of this new month and all the opportunities that will be presented before you. I am praying that August will be a month filled with rejuvenation for myself, so that my light shall reignite and shine bright.

Matthew 5:14 says, “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” The Bible says that we should let our lights shine in order to reflect God working in our lives. And I can’t lie, recently I have felt my light dim. I’ve been unexplainably sad. I try to push through the day and end up in tears. And I’m trying to find and do everything to make myself happy.
As I sit in the car with my parents and my brother on vacation, riding down the back roads of St. John’s island in Charleston, I realize that this is the first time I’ve been genuinely happy in a while. Where I’m not putting on a smile to make others feel comfortable or make them think I’m good. I’m just being me and for those who know me, know that I love to be surrounded/immersed in my family and their love. I’m making jokes and picking at my dad and watching as my entire family erupts in laughter. And I realize that my sadness was dimming my light.

I’ve let the darkness of my emotions take over, so much so that my light wasn’t shining anymore.  I get that stars shine in darkness, but I was letting the darkness consume the light of my stars. I wasn’t allowing God’s works to be reflected in my life. I’ve been focused on my sadness, as if it’s the only thing going on in my life. As if my life revolves around it, as if I couldn’t function or go on. But getting away from my world and being able to sit and reflect has proved to be very thought-provoking and eye-opening. I may be hurt but I don’t have to allow my hurt to dictate my life. I still have the same purpose that I had before, just a little sadness. And I have to remember that my pain is temporary & I will be okay. This darkness had to occur in order for me to evaluate myself and understand that I am a conqueror who will shine through the darkness. And I can’t sit still to wallow in sadness, because what good does that do? But, I also have to remember to be patient with myself and my progress. And more importantly, patient with God’s timing for my life.

I was trying to force happiness, force the mending of my heart. But that stuff takes time. And regardless of who says or thinks what, it will all happen in the time that God has allotted it to for me and my life. It feels good to feel happy with my family, even though my worries and cares are in the back of my mind. They don’t seem so big anymore , they don’t seem so overwhelming, I find comfort in knowing that I have people who love me and look forward to seeing me or laughing at jokes I make. They have rekindled my light.

I want to shine bright. I want to continue pursuing my passions and dreams. And since this month has begun, a lot of divine intervention has occurred in my life that have reassured me of my recovery via the word of God, whether it be through my daily devotionals, readings of the Bible, or talks with God. It seems as if every thing is encouraging me to rekindle my light and carry on, to persevere and shine bright. See, my problem is feeling like I have to always be okay. And I don’t. So this sadness really hit me and I’ve been sad! But, this sadness has also served as an outlet for creative thoughts and ideas. And I know that with the help of God, I can continue on because he will give me peace beyond my understanding and restore me more than I ever expected. But, what kind of Self-Love Sunday would this be if I wasn’t real with you all on my current emotions, experiences? I will overcome and I am still loving myself. I hope to shine bright, it’ll just happen in due time. It’s a journey and I am a work in progress.

This Self-Love Sunday, I encourage you to shine brightly. This doesn’t mean I’m telling you be happy 24/7, that is not realistic. What I am saying is, take time to embrace your sadness and let those emotions pass. You don’t have to be happy all the time. And your sadness may affect you positively and inspire you with some content or an idea to help others by sharing your story. You are not alone & I promise you aren’t the only one going through something. WE ALL DO! So I am hoping that my sharing will touch someone today. Because being able to love yourself even when you’re not feeling your best is all included in self-love. But it’s your choice to let sadness take over your life or continue push through. I’m choosing to push through and shine bright. The choice is yours, what will you choose today?