Happy Self-Love Sunday!
What a week this has been for me. Monday was such a day of revelations. It was the day I decided today’s blog topic, but it was also the day I was notified of the passing of my beloved pastor. I journeyed to my hometown Friday, with an assortment of 7 assignments due on today. I questioned whether I should even write this blog, but God allowed for me to complete everything before today’s due date. And now, I have the pleasure of sharing this blog with you all.
How many of us are longing to feel complete? Often times, we seek the wrong methods to find this feeling of completeness. We turn to other people and things to make us feel whole. We look to these things and people to validate us. We look to others to love us in a way in which we know we deserve to be loved. But why can’t we love ourselves this way? Why do we seek other people and not God for this feeling of completion?
Looking for validation in others will always leave one feeling as if he/she is lacking and incomplete. As I have said in previous blogs, you can not and will not please everyone. And if you are pleasing people, that will not last forever. However, our goal shouldn’t be to please others so that we feel complete. Our problem as humans is that we try to be more than enough for people who we will never satisfy, we will never live up to the standards of others. We will always feel a feeling of incompleteness when seeking validation from others, because even when we feel like we’ve given our all to someone, they can always state on what they felt we could’ve or should’ve done better. As humans, some of us just always want more. God wants the best from us, however, he will never chastise us for what we lack.
As mentioned in a previous blog, God said we are more than enough because he created us. We are already complete in Him. When we begin attempting to please the world, that is when we get lost in translation. We lose sight of ourselves and more importantly, we lose sight of God. The God I know and serve will never shame me or anyone else for not living up to our potential. He will make me aware of how I can do and be better. And if God is to ever make us feel incomplete, it’s because we are not seeking him the way we should. We don’t seek God the way we should because we get caught up in the ways of the world. I am guilty of this myself. When I get in relationships, I always want to be the best girlfriend. In trying to be the best girlfriend, sometimes I lose myself and my relationship with God. I become so intent on putting someone else’s happiness and desires before my own, I forget about what God has for me. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being a great girlfriend or boyfriend, because it’s not. However, remember to stay true to yourself and always seek validation from God and no one else.
You have to determine whether you let yourself become complete in God or in other people. Being able to acknowledge what you can improve on is half of the battle of accepting yourself for who you are and thus, enabling you to practice self-love and better yourself. However, don’t be so quick to listen to and believe what any and every one tells you. Every friend is not a credible source and honestly, every “friend” is not always a true friend. Have the spirit of discernment and if you don’t know how to decipher what you should and shouldn’t take into mind, seek God. I want us all to be complete in God, so we can practice self-love.
Today, I challenge you not to seek validation in people. I challenge you to talk to God and study his word to learn how he has crafted you and how he created you lacking in nothing. Ask yourself why do you want to feel complete. Is it because you know that you’re missing something in your life OR is it because someone told you that something is missing? Allow God to speak to you, for he and only he alone can make you complete. I want to leave you all with the lyrics of a Jonathan McReynolds’ gospel song,
“What I lack, You are full of.
And where I’m broken, You are whole.
And what I’
So I’ll trust the Lover, Lover of my soul.”
