Happy Self-Love Sunday!

I hope this past week has been amazing for you. And if you felt this week wasn’t all that, then I hope you make this upcoming week better! I hope you all enjoyed A Word Wednesday. I am so excited to share this journey with you all. If you weren’t able to check it out, reference my last post or visit my Instagram (@unveilingjannaalane). I have so much content prepared, and I hope that it will positively impact you all the way I know it’s going to impact me. So now you all have two reasons to visit my blog each week, what a joy (right?)! Anyways, today’s topic came to me late last night. It hit me so hard that I would not be doing myself or you all justice if I don’t share. So happy self-love Sunday & I hope you all enjoy! 

How do we heal from hurt? It is such a relevant question. But also, a question I feel we will be asking ourselves and others until the end of time. Hurt can appear in numerous forms and in numerous periods of our life. Each hurt will look and feel different. Therefore, how we overcome each situation will be different as well. I wish there was a magic book that discussed every form of hurt and how to overcome it, that would be perfect. But we don’t live in a perfect world and that is NOT realistic. Even though there’s no one solution fixes all, you can change your mindset in relation to how you view hurt. And even though this won’t completely cause healing immediately, it’s a step. One step in moving forward and healing is better than no steps at all.

Merriam-Webster defines hurt in various ways. Some of the definitions are: to inflict with physical pain; to do substantial or material harm; to cause emotional pain or anguish to; to be detrimental to; and the list continues.

Sometimes emotional pain can sting and cause damage just as much as physical pain can. Throughout my life, I’ve been hurt so many times by so many different people in so many different ways. Physically, mentally and emotionally. I’ve been hurt by family members, friends, former friends and significant others. And I wish I could say the hurt got easier to deal with as I got older, but that wouldn’t be true. This isn’t true because each circumstance was different. And no matter how cruel this world can be, my heart is what it is. I care for people and love hard, and though this has its ups and downs, I can not and will never change that. Therefore, I’m still learning to heal from my hurt each and every day and this starts by changing my mindset.

Often times we try to write our hurt off immediately and keep things moving like we’re A okay. We don’t allow ourselves to feel the hurt and heal from this emotion. I’ve been guilty of this myself. At some points in my life, my hurt has had me questioning if it was valid. I questioned if I had the right to hurt and feel the way that I did. So, I tried to keep living like I did before the hurt occurred. Essentially, I tried to ignore it. However, in the late hours of the night, when I was alone, or when I really started to think, of course hurt crept its little way into my life. I didn’t realize that I needed to accept and process the hurt in order to heal. But I did, and I still do, and so do you.  I’ve learned that processing my hurt can also provide revelation in my life.  These revelations can lead to healing. You can’t heal from hurt by just writing it off, that only allows it to manifest and cause more damage than good.

Alexandra Elle said it best on Instagram the other day, she literally said it so perfectly that I couldn’t say it any better (picture above). You can be positive and still have bad days! Meaning you can be positive and happy but still be dealing with hurt. She also said that you don’t have to pretend or be perfect. Honestly, I think that is what keeps us from healing from our hurt. We feel we have to pretend everything is good EVERY second of the day or that we are perfect. We don’t have to pretend or be perfect, I repeat, we do not. This is what hinders our healing. We can have a good moment with friends or loved ones, but still be suffering from hurt and pain. But we MUST acknowledge and feel our feelings. This won’t be the best feeling in the world; however, it is SO necessary to healing and growth.

Today, I challenge you to change your mindset in regard to your hurt. Don’t let the things that hurt you in the past control your future. Reflect, acknowledge what happened and also acknowledge how you grew and overcame from it. And if you’re still healing, acknowledge that too! Take some time to yourself to allow yourself to feel. Don’t hold it all in or stuff it in one place. I promise in the grand scheme of things, you’ll be happy you allowed yourself time to feel and begin your healing process. Remember, this isn’t the one and only way to heal from hurt, but it’s a start!

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
It’s Labor Day weekend! Happy early Labor Day. I wonder if you all have been patiently waiting for this weekend like I have. Working an 8 am – 5 pm is NO joke, so any and every break is appealing lol. But don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my job. Anyways, I am thoroughly excited for this week because I have something exciting coming. I will be posting on Wednesday, so make sure you check back in! And this exciting thing has given me much reason to smile & I hope it does the same for you.

How many of you have had moments when you could literally find no reason to smile? When it seems as if all the joy and happiness was sucked out of your life? Well, I promise you are not alone. We have all had moments where it seems as if all odds are against us. But these are the moments in which we need to embrace our happiness and joy even more. Because there are so many more reasons to SMILE than to succumb to any and every thing else.

On Saturday, I was listening to my gospel playlist as I cleaned my apartment. Jonathan McReynold’s – Smile began to play. This is a song that I love, but often I skip over it in the car because I’m not in the mood for it. However, I let it play this time and it was like I was listening to it for the first time. The words hit me on another level. The bridge and chorus really struck me the most this time. The lyrics are as follows:
I can’t help but smile
Cause I realize what You’ve done for me
All those battles You’ve won for me
And that someday soon You will come for me

I can’t help but sing
Cause you already gave me the victory
And no pain, and no hurt and no misery
Can take away my smile
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
No pain, no hurt, and no misery can take away my smile. Whew! How many of y’all felt those words just now?

Recently, it feels like I’ve been succumbing to every reason to not smile. Instead of being optimistic and hopeful, I have been just rolling with the punches, even if that means losing my smile. And yes, of course I’ve had moments in which I’ve embraced happiness. But realistically, my smile hasn’t been like it should or used to be. It hasn’t been reflective of me. And what is truly mind blowing is that I am so thankful and grateful for so many things and these things all give me reason to smile. However, it’s like all these wonderful things drift out of my mind the moment a “crisis” or situation occurs.

I’ve been spending more and more time with God and I feel like this song couldn’t have been more on time than it was! Friday, I went to my alma mater and ran into so many of my friends, which was lovely. And as I drove back to my new side of town, I had plenty of time to think. I’ve been allowing myself to focus on negativities instead of the positive. I’ve been so busy with work and adjusting to my work schedule, I haven’t had time to just be still. So as I drove, I was completely still. My mind was free and reflective. I reminisced on beautiful memories, blessings, and the opportunities to come. It’s all scary, unfamiliar, and exciting! But somehow, the scary and unfamiliar have consumed my thoughts. I know that all things will work out the way that they should and need to according to God’s will. However, when life hits you fast, it can be hard to remember that. I am choosing to stop trying to be in control and put my trust in the man above. So I am ready to be free and smile at any and every thing I can, every opportunity I get. 

You never know how much your smile could make someone’s day. It could literally be a small act of kindness that helps them get through a terrible time or remind them that not all people suck.

Today, I challenge you all to be still and smile. Things may be bad, but they could be worse. There are people in way worse conditions than us. I know people say that all the time, but it’s so true. And even though there may be 100 reasons to not smile or be happy, there are 101 and more to smile and embrace happiness. Which are you choosing today? Will you let this world define how you feel? Or will you take control and choose happiness? Will you choose to be a light in a sometimes dim and dark world? Because I want my smile to be so contagious that so many others are influenced to smile and overcome whatever is bothering them. Let your faith cause you to do nothing else but smile, in spite of every circumstance. It’s your choice & I hope you choose to smile today!

Happy Self-Love Sunday!

There are song lyrics by H.E.R. that I feel best currently describe my life and all of the emotions I’ve felt since I last wrote.
“Lately, I’ve been going through some changes, been running out of maybes… I know ya losing patience with me.”

Lately, my life has been in transition. I graduated from college, began renting my first solo apartment, and started my first job. I’ve experienced so many firsts in such a short amount of time. And with these firsts, came a period of transition and adjustment. Living alone is completely different than living with family or in a college dorm. Working my first corporate job is totally different than being a full time college student. While I was aware life after college would be different, I didn’t just how much of a transition it would be.

I feel like people don’t really speak on the transition from college to life after college. But this is a topic that needs to be discussed! Life after college shouldn’t be solely focused on getting a job. Because once you get that job, what’s next? How do you adjust to a new routine, a new career, and a new lifestyle? The refund checks are over once you graduate, unless you go back to school. And therefore, learning how to properly maintain and retain finances is so important. But once again, these things aren’t always harped on when it comes to life after college. Society wants us to focus on becoming employed and becoming employed in a field relevant to our college major. But just know, that isn’t always the case. And that’s totally fine.

My life after college hasn’t been perfect. I’m still adjusting to living alone and waking up every day for a 8-5. It’s all nerve wrecking and exciting at the same time. When I reflect, I realize how blessed I am. It was only yesterday I was in school and now I’m in corporate America. But just because I have a job in corporate America doesn’t mean everything is rainbows and butterflies. Now I have to make new friends and since I moved, make friends in my area. Not saying I ditched all my college friends, because I definitely haven’t. But our schedules are not the same anymore. When I’m free, they’re in class or work and when they’re free, I’m at work. I value all of the people I’ve grown close with because of Kennesaw and I know that I will continuously make an effort to remain friends. However, I miss being able to walk to my friend’s room when I’m bored. So I’m trying to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone and make friends at my new church, small group & apartment complex.

Sometimes transitioning can start off a little rocky. Things don’t always go as we planned or imagined. But transition is necessary. It allows you to enter into a new phase of your life. How can you grow if you stay the same? Just know that you are not alone. There are plenty of others in moments of transition just like you. And there have been plenty of others who have stood in your shoes. So you aren’t alone, even if it feels that way. Reach out to a friend, a loved one, God, and even take some time with yourself. You are exactly where you’re meant to be for this moment in your life. And you can and will make it!

Love yourself, even when you transition. Maybe love yourself a little more. Because things will be scary and unfamiliar, but also exciting and exhilarating. There are endless possibilities before you. So don’t allow yourself to hold you back due to fear or uncertainty of the unfamiliar or unknown. And because of this unfamiliarity, you’ll be looking for comfort and love in so many things. Unaware of the great affection and comfort you can provide yourself. So love yourself, even when you’re adjusting to your transition. They say there’s beauty in the struggle, so why can’t their be beauty in the unknown, too? Have faith and know that this is just the beginning for you to accomplish any and everything you want. Love yourself and embrace your transition, whatever it may be.

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
I know it has been a LONG minute since I have posted a blog. And honestly life hit & it hit hard, but in such a good way. I graduated from college last month with a Bachelor’s of Business Administration in Information Security and Assurance. Not only did I graduate last month, but the Lord also blessed me with a job offer for a job in my field. And with that job offer came the need to rent my first apartment. Like I said, life hit hard! But I am so blessed and thankful for all of the blessings that God has presented to me. It feels so surreal that I graduated and am actually working. I started my job on June 17th at one of the most wonderful companies ever. This month has been filled with a lot of reflection for me. Reflections of the ups and downs it took to make it where I currently am today, embarking on life post-college, my new beginning. These reflections and a cumulation of events in my life have truly inspired this blog, I hope you all enjoy!

Sometimes in life we experience moments where our life seems to be in a standstill. We don’t know what will happen next and that is truly frightening. It seems as if everything that we planned and hoped for is so far away.  We start feeling emotions of frustration and hopelessness. These emotions can put us into a place of deep despair. However, I truly believe these standstills and periods of confusion can lead to new beginnings.

Disclaimer: This blog will be a little personal. I know most of my blogs are personal, but this one especially hits home for me. I will be sharing a story I’ve never really spoken on before.

As Fourth of July approaches, I feel it’s an appropriate time to write this blog. Last Fourth of July was the worst of my life. I woke up that morning with my front tooth chipped. I was grinding my teeth so hard while I slept due to the bountiful amount of stress I felt. If you truly know me, then you know I love my smile & my teeth, so I was heartbroken & devastated. I began to feel super self conscious about my teeth and my smile. Not to mention, it seemed as if my life was beginning to fall apart at this time. The life I lived and planned for the future slowly disappeared and became only memories of the past. It seemed as if my tooth chipping was the beginning of a series of misfortunate events. Events I would never truly understand until now. I embraced the pain & emptiness brought out by these events. I carried on with my life, but I was truly hurt and these painful emotions always manifested themselves behind closed doors. I was in a period of standstill. Little did I know that God was orchestrating a new beginning in my life.

I spent most of last school year coping with what I deemed as a great loss, of my perfect smile and other issues that were causing me turmoil. Then, as I entered my last semester of college, hopelessness took over. On top of the emotions I was already dealing with, I began to stress about life after college. I had no clue what I was going to be doing. Of course I told everyone I wanted to go to graduate school, but I didn’t just want to be a full time student again. I wanted to work and make a living for myself. And I wanted to wake up with my whole life figured out. You know who thought that was funny? God!

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” On a day when I literally felt like giving up, God revealed his plans to me. It was a Friday afternoon, I just got off a call with my dad in which I was in tears out of frustration of not having a job offer. Literal moments after our conversation ended, a recruiter from my current job called and offered me a position. I literally got on the floor, cried, and started thanking God while the recruiter was on the phone continuing to speak. God knew the plans he had for me, even when I began to doubt. His plans for me included a new beginning. And just as he has plans for me, he has plans for everyone.

The purpose of this blog is to share my story, in a short and condensed format. But I hope you all get the message and see the bigger picture. I thought I took myself out of the race, but God was still running in my place. He knew what the finish line looked like, even when I became hopeless. He knew that in order for me to reach the finish line, that I would have to stay in the race and because I began to discourage myself, he seamlessly tapped in for me. And he will do this for all of us, every single time.

See, I am a planner. I love to have everything planned out. I wanted to know what was at the finish line for me and I wanted to see the results instantaneously. But that’s not always how life works. You can plan and plan, you can envision a future for yourself, but sometimes life just happens. Life happened for me and even though I tried to endure, I reached a standstill in which I began to throw in the towel. But literally as I raised my hand to throw the towel in, God put my hand down and I received a life-changing phone call.

For those of you approaching graduation experiencing feelings of confusion and hopelessness, know that it is okay. You don’t have to have your life figured out by the day you walk across the stage. Of course it would be a blessing to know what comes next immediately. But sometimes we just don’t know what will come next until God is ready for us to know. Do not be discouraged, have faith, and keep making an effort to work toward what you want. If you want a job by the time you graduate, apply to multiple places EVERY DAY. Go to every interview possible, send thank-you emails and cards, follow-up, and network. And even if you don’t get the job in the exact moment that you want, what is meant for you will be for you in due  time. Be persistent, regardless of what you’re hoping to achieve. Your new beginning is coming!

Today, I challenge you all to remain encouraged because your new beginning is right around the corner. Whether it’s a financial breakthrough, overcoming a struggle, obtaining a job post-college, or so much more. There are endless opportunities available to you, to us all. These opportunities are available because of God’s love and just because these blessings aren’t occurring when you want, doesn’t mean that they won’t occur. Make sure that you aren’t holding yourself back. Be willing and open to embrace a new path in life. Because when God blesses you, it will begin a new chapter, a new beginning in your life.

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
I know it’s been a minute, but I have been preparing for my college graduation. That’s right, I graduate from college on Tuesday. These past 4 years have truly flown by and I have had an amazing college experience. I have been engrossed with finishing up final assignments, attending ceremonies for graduates, my job search, and lots of interviews. But, the Lord placed a special message in my heart and I had to share with you all today on this lovely Self-Love Sunday. I hope you all can enjoy and even relate to this.

Have you ever made a statement that others didn’t understand? Have you ever explained yourself and people still didn’t know what you meant? Have you ever felt like others are confused by you or your thoughts? Have you ever made a statement similar to, “no one gets me?” Have you ever began to question yourself due to people’s inability to relate or even comprehend you or your thoughts. Everyone experiences these feelings at one point of time or another. These feelings are also associated with being misunderstood.

Misunderstood: incorrectly interpreted or understood.
To be misunderstood can be very discouraging. It can leave a person feeling a variety of emotions, such as shame, guilt, hopelessness, and the list continues on. I personally know the effects of feeling misunderstood firsthand. Sometimes, I have felt completely alone and ultimately, frustrated because I felt like others did not understand me. I wanted someone to level with me, my emotions, and my thoughts. However, when I stated how I felt, it seemed as if I was received by statements or “advice” that I did not want to hear. It seemed as if everyone stated how they felt and totally disregarded my emotions or my situation. This led to a level of frustration that encouraged me to stay to myself, to deal with things on my own. However, trying to handle everything on my own, in regard to every situation was not and is not the answer. I was so distraught one day, that I began to seek God for council. He was the only one I felt truly understood me because he knew me better than any other person could ever. When you feel misunderstood, what do you do? Do you battle with something internally? Or do you attempt to off an explanation of your thought processes so someone can support you?

It’s okay to be misunderstood. Everyone can not always relate to every thing you are thinking, feeling, or saying. And that is perfectly okay. You know better than others how you feel and how certain situations effect you. Maybe if people could read your mind, then they would be able to better understand and relate, but that is not reality. Just as you feel misunderstood at certain moments and times, so do your friends, loved ones, and family members. So in these moments when you feel understand, remember that your feelings matter, regardless of who can and can not relate to you. Acknowledge these feelings, thoughts, and emotions; and do not suppress them. If you do not acknowledge them then they will continue to haunt you and eventually drive you crazy. And you certainly do not need any person to validate your feelings or thoughts. If people can not understand, then offer to explain. And if they still can not understand, then don’t worry about it. 

The reality of being misunderstood is that you can not be understood at all times by people. Just because someone does not understand you does not mean that something is wrong with you. This is important to know and remember whenever you feel misunderstood. Every one is not equipped to deal with all you deal with, and every one does not know how to be supportive or understanding of things they can not comprehend.  When people can not understand something, it scares them and are not always receptive. Do you think people always understood Jesus or Albert Einstein? But did being understood keep them from accomplishing their goals or purpose in life? NO! Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “To be great is to be misunderstood.”  So, I guess as we can see, even some of the most notable people in history dealt with being misunderstood. And if they dealt with it, so can we. Remember, never let someone’s misunderstanding of you dim the light that shines from within.

Today, I challenge you to embrace being misunderstood. Never apologize to those who do not understand you. Recognize that every one will not get you. Every one will not see the vision that you have or understand why you are passionate about particular things. Above all else, focus on you. Don’t worry about confusion or misunderstanding. Remember, to be great is to be misunderstood and because of that, you may be misunderstood more often than not. Don’t let this stop you, keep going and loving yourself for who you are! I am misunderstood and not ashamed, allow yourself to embrace being misunderstood, too.

Happy Self-Love Sunday!

I hope you all have been enjoying yourselves. I have literally been booked & busy. So I haven’t been giving you all content like I should. But just be patient with me. The road to graduation is quickly approaching and I have been running around nonstop. However, I will make sure to keep you all updated and provide some content for you. Speaking of graduation, since that time is right around the corner, I have been reflecting on my college career. And because of these reflections, I have today’s topic for you.

At some point in time, everyone begins to wonder who am I? This question invokes the process of determining who you are. And this process looks different for everyone, because we are all unique. Trying to determine who you are involves a variety of things, such as determining what you are passionate about. Being passionate about something gives you a sense of purpose, it adds value to your life. Sometimes the journey of finding out who you are can be strenuous, but it is always worthwhile.

As I mentioned above, I have been reflecting a lot. These reflections allowed me to come to the revelation that during my college years, I gained a better  sense of myself and who I am. It’s amazing to reflect on who I was when I started college and where I am now. It took my so long to figure out who I am, because I was my own biggest enemy. I used to constantly doubt myself. I also used to hold onto these notions that I came up with in my head of how I believed other people thought about me. Freshman year I really held myself back socially because I felt I was too shy. Because of this shyness, I felt I could not do a lot of things. However, I wanted to meet new people, I wanted to socialize, I wanted to be involved. So at some point in time during the summer after freshman year & before sophomore year began, I decided to stop holding myself back. I used my voice to interact with others and I became more involved. I didn’t have a car and because of these newfound friendships and connections, I was able to volunteer with various organizations, which is something I am truly passionate about. At some point and time, we all have to stop doubting ourselves. We have to stop saying what we can not do and focus on making an effort to do these things, we have to turn our cant’s into cans. We have to overcome ourselves.

My love for meeting others and volunteering has allowed me to constantly rediscover who I am. We are all human. We all have days and moments when it just seems as if everything is not going right. Sometimes it just seems like we can’t get out of a rough patch in our lives. And for me, that’s when my love for meeting new people through service comes into play. For Spring Break, I originally had nothing planned. However, I decided to go on this service trip to New Orleans, even though I went last spring break. After the trip was over, I came home feeling so rejuvenated and refreshed. This last year of college has drained me, I  have a serious case of senioritis and have found myself just going through the motions more often than not. Being able to volunteer and meet some amazing individuals reminded me of who I am and what I hold near to my heart. I didn’t forget what I was passionate about, however, my life has been like a rollercoaster ride that hasn’t slowed down or ended. I never get to really rest because I am always moving. I wanted to just relax but my love for service called back to this trip. Therefore, this service trip was much-needed! Consider what you are passionate about. Consider what activities make you feel good and inspire you to do more, to be creative, to reach for the stars. Whatever things you come up with are all apart of who you are.

Nobody else in the world can define who you are. Do not give people power over your life. Just because someone says something does not make it true. So it’s important for you to realize who you are. Because people will try to tell you about yourself, more often than not. But you have to be confident and secure in who you are in order to take listen to their words & then try to adjust yourself solely based on their opinions. No other human knows you like you know yourself. So don’t even let the opinions of others hold weight. And if people are trying to define you and say some things that leave you feeling unsettled, seek God. We can’t figure out who we are on our own. And he is always with us, so why not utilize the most powerful resource. Ask him to remove any judgments made by others that are clouding your own judgment of yourself. And if nobody else knows you and your heart, God does. Ask him to reveal some things to you about yourself. He will remind you of who you are, whose you are & to whom you belong.

I believe finding who you are is a never-ending process. I am continuously learning more and more about myself, even at the age of twenty-two. And I don’t have everything all figured out. I know what I like, what I dislike, and a variety of other things. However, you can & will always discover things about yourself through new interactions and adventures. Today, I challenge you to open up your mind. Ask yourself, who am I? And then reflect on your answer. Think about all the things that make you who you are & how they intersect in order to do so. It’s a beautiful thing to discover who you are, especially when this is determined by you & not others. I challenge you all to always explore your passions & continuously better yourself. You never know what new things you might discover about who you are.

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
I hope you all had a fantastic week. And I hope that this new week will bring you endless blessings. This week was pretty hectic for me. I had to write a draft of my honor’s capstone for graduation, host an event, take my graduation pictures, and complete a multitude of other assignments and obligations. So, I am beyond happy that today is Sunday and that I was able to complete everything I needed to. I wanted to write this blog for you all last Sunday, but my workload was through the roof. It’s here, better late than never, so I hope you all enjoy.

Sometimes, the biggest obstacle standing in your way is the person you see when you look in the mirror, yourself. We allow fear, doubt, and a variety of other emotions to overcome ourselves and cloud our judgement. We allow the thought of being uncomfortable to hold us into a place of comfort. No matter what, we can not hold ourselves back. We can not be afraid to evolve and become even better versions of ourselves. We must have faith. We must believe in who we are. We must find our voice. You must find your voice.

Finding my voice did not happen over night. It took some time. You know how we post pictures on Instagram talking about our “Glo Up?” Well, finding my voice came with my Glo Up. Over time, we all mature and grow into ourselves, physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. As I have grown and continue to grow over the years, I am embracing who I am. I have a passion for helping others and writing. I loveeee to write. Being able to take the leap of faith to start this blog was a huge step to finding my voice. Being able to communicate how I feel on a platform such as this is truly monumental for me. Writing, in a manner that inspires, empowers, and motivates, is my voice. I always say, “Thank God for growth.” And I truly mean those words. Without growth, I would not be the young woman who I am continuously developing into today. Growth is not pretty, not at all. It can include some blood, sweat, and LOTS of tears. But growth is necessary and essential to ALL life. We can’t be children forever. Without growth, we would all stay the same, stagnant. And how can you move forward when you walk the same path, the same way everyday?

Sometimes you have to be uncomfortable to become comfortable. Contrary to what everyone believes, I am so shy. Yes, I love meeting and interacting with new people. However, I have all these ideas in my head of what I want to say or how I want to interact, but can never get the guts to do so. I literally think so hard about my words and movements before I complete them sometimes. So, I’ve had to constantly challenge myself to step outside of my comfort zone and find my voice. I speak to strangers with a simple, “Hey, how are you?” When I see people looking lonely and uncomfortable, I approach them and spark a quick conversation. These short conversations allow me to practice speaking to others and getting to know people. So, that’s why it may seem as if I am not shy. But it is a constant, effort-driven process. I speak in front of crowds at various events, something that makes my heart pound every time I do so, something that also makes me very uncomfortable. However, the more and more I speak, the more comfort I gain with doing so, the more I look forward to speaking and sharing what I have to say. Before, you would have never caught me participating in an open dialogue, but now I take pride in speaking and I want to be heard. What is something you hope to overcome, but the fear of being uncomfortable has stopped you from doing so?

Finding your voice looks different for everyone. Finding your voice doesn’t mean you have to be the loudest person in the room. It doesn’t mean you have to say a thing out loud. Finding your voice is your outlet of expressing yourself. It’s how you communicate with the world and how you demand to be heard. It can be through speaking, writing, dance, visual media, and so much more. Allow your passions to become your voice.  You will never who you can and will impact. Never be silenced, not by any person or thing and especially not by yourself. Even if you don’t believe so, your voice matters. How you feel matters. Embrace being uncomfortable for a little so you learn to be comfortable with who you are. Allow yourself to continuously “Glo Up.”

Today, I challenge you to find your voice. It isn’t an instantaneous process, but make an attempt. The fruits of your labor will be worthwhile. Think about what inspires you and the things you’re passionate about. Channel these things to think of how you can share your voice with your world. When I started my blog, I wanted to complete a dream I’ve always had. I didn’t know so many people would support me or even be positively impacted by my words enough to share with me. So, imagine what you yourself could do. Stop putting your own self down. Always remember that you matter, even when you begin to doubt yourself. Believe in yourself. Find your voice and let yourself be heard.

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
This is my first blog for the month of March and March is women’s history month.  Be sure to take time to appreciate the women in your life. And ladies, take time to appreciate yourselves! We are bold, we are trailblazers, and we are powerful beyond measure because we are women. This is our month, so celebrate how you see fit.

We are all powerful beyond, men and women alike. However, there’s a tiny voice in our heads that fill us with feelings of doubt. Sometimes, these feelings arise due to comparisons. We live in a day and age where it can become so easy to compare our lives to the lives of others. Often times, we subconsciously make comparisons of ourselves and don’t even realize this. Yet, we fail to realize that all that glitters isn’t always gold.

Why compare? Like I previously mentioned, sometimes comparison is a subconscious thing. No one wakes up saying, “I am going to compare myself to my best friend (or whoever) today.” Well, I hope that isn’t the case. When things aren’t going right or when it seems as if everything that could go wrong has, that’s when the spirit of comparison creeps its way into our lives. We start looking at other people’s lives and wonder “why do they have it so easy? He/she has it all and I’m stuck here…” And the list of comparisons goes on and on. Social media is a humongous enabler of comparisons. Social media is designed for people to interact with one another by means of sharing updates on their lives. But often times, people use social media to highlight the good things in their lives. You’re more likely going to see someone posting themselves on a vacation, rather than someone posting a failed grade. However, some people utilize social media to share their story in order to uplift others. They share the good and the bad. They don’t share so people can compare their lives or to give people the notion that if they imitate what they are saying then their life will be successful. They share these stories in order to convey that you are not alone. Nobody’s living their best life 24 hours, 7 days a week, and if they are, please point me to them!

We have to realize that we all are called to differently. Meaning that we all have different backgrounds, passions, lifestyles, etc. Every book does not look the same, nor does every book have the same story. So, why can’t we think of ourselves like books? Why can’t be unique and prosper in our way? Referencing back to social media, just because people post the happy moments of their lives does not mean that they are without trials and tribulations. We can never imagine what people had to endure in order to get to that happy moment in time that they captured and felt inclined to share. So, why compare yourself to what you see on social media when you aren’t aware of the full story? Just because it seems as if an individual has it made, does not mean that it doesn’t. And please keep in mind that I am not saying you can not be inspired by others, I am inspired by so many people. But there is a clear difference between inspiration and comparison.

We have to realize that we all unique and powerful in our own way. We all have our own stories. Just because you aren’t where you want to be right now, does not mean it won’t happen.  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. What is meant for you will always be for you and there will never be any confusion OR need for comparison. Your friend may be living their best life right now, but who says you aren’t about to live your best life, too? Be yourself, because God created YOU. He didn’t create you to imitate or be a copy of anyone else. We are all unique and while we may share similarities or commonalities, our equations are not compatible in order to be compared. The answer to that equation will never exist.
“Your story is unique and so different, it is not worthy of comparison.”

Today, I challenge you to remember these words: no comparison. When you began to idolize over your friends, celebrities, or even strangers, remember you can’t compare. You are you and not those other people. There’s nothing wrong with being happy for them or using them as inspiration. But remember, great things can and will happen to you, too. Sometimes, you just have to be patient and listen to a calling higher than yourself. Remember, there is no need to compare when there is no comparison.

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
What a week this has been for me. Monday was such a day of revelations. It was the day I decided today’s blog topic, but it was also the day I was notified of the passing of my beloved pastor. I journeyed to my hometown Friday, with an assortment of 7 assignments due on today. I questioned whether I should even write this blog, but God allowed for me to complete everything before today’s due date. And now, I have the pleasure of sharing this blog with you all.

How many of us are longing to feel complete? Often times, we seek the wrong methods to find this feeling of completeness. We turn to other people and things to make us feel whole. We look to these things and people to validate us. We look to others to love us in a way in which we know we deserve to be loved. But why can’t we love ourselves this way? Why do we seek other people and not God for this feeling of completion?

Looking for validation in others will always leave one feeling as if he/she is lacking and incomplete. As I have said in previous blogs, you can not and will not please everyone. And if you are pleasing people, that will not last forever. However, our goal shouldn’t be to please others so that we feel complete. Our problem as humans is that we try to be more than enough for people who we will never satisfy, we will never live up to the standards of others. We will always feel a feeling of incompleteness when seeking validation from others, because even when we feel like we’ve given our all to someone, they can always state on what they felt we could’ve or should’ve done better. As humans, some of us just always want more. God wants the best from us, however, he will never chastise us for what we lack.

As mentioned in a previous blog, God said we are more than enough because he created us. We are already complete in Him. When we begin attempting to please the world, that is when we get lost in translation. We lose sight of ourselves and more importantly, we lose sight of God. The God I know and serve will never shame me or anyone else for not living up to our potential. He will make me aware of how I can do and be better. And if God is to ever make us feel incomplete, it’s because we are not seeking him the way we should. We don’t seek God the way we should because we get caught up in the ways of the world. I am guilty of this myself. When I get in relationships, I always want to be the best girlfriend. In trying to be the best girlfriend, sometimes I lose myself and my relationship with God. I become so intent on putting someone else’s happiness and desires before my own, I forget about what God has for me. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being a great girlfriend or boyfriend, because it’s not. However, remember to stay true to yourself and always seek validation from God and no one else. 

You have to determine whether you let yourself become complete in God or in other people. Being able to acknowledge what you can improve on is half of the battle of accepting yourself for who you are and thus, enabling you to practice self-love and better yourself. However, don’t be so quick to listen to and believe what any and every one tells you. Every friend is not a credible source and honestly, every “friend” is not always a true friend. Have the spirit of discernment and if you don’t know how to decipher what you should and shouldn’t take into mind, seek God. I want us all to be complete in God, so we can practice self-love.

Today, I challenge you not to seek validation in people. I challenge you to talk to God and study his word to learn how he has crafted you and how he created you lacking in nothing. Ask yourself why do you want to feel complete. Is it because you know that you’re missing something in your life OR is it because someone told you that something is missing? Allow God to speak to you, for he and only he alone can make you complete. I want to leave you all with the lyrics of a Jonathan McReynolds’ gospel song,
“What I lack, You are full of.
And where I’m broken, You are whole.
And what I’m doubting. You are sure of.
So I’ll trust the Lover, Lover of my soul.”