Who I Am, Who You Are

August 22, 2018 - Janna

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers!
As many of you know, I started school last Monday. So I apologize for last week being blogless. I had to get my life together for school. But I’m back ! Today’s blog is heavily inspired by some feelings that have been heavy on my heart to share. But, I definitely feel this topic is relatable to all. Because I can guarantee that we have all felt this way at one point in time.
And who doesn’t love a self-love Sunday post on a Wednesday? (Especially because of my absence)

It kills me when people think they know who I am, because people only know what they see or what they assume to be true. I am pretty guarded with my life, so I don’t always share every personal matter, opinion, or detail. But at the same time, it’s not hard for others to assume that they know who I am based off of preconceived notions. They say they don’t “fw” me, but for what? Or only talk to me when it’s convenient for them. But if I’m not smiling, like I normally do, or quick to greet them, then I’m the problem. They assume I have an attitude or feel some way. But, everyone has bad days. No one can keep a genuine smile 24/7 and who are you to fault me, because I’m only human?

Who I am shouldn’t be defined by who you believe I am. Who you are shouldn’t be defined by the words of others. I am human, too. I bleed and hurt, just like you. I’ve just become accustomed with keeping a smile for others & making sure they’re okay. But sometimes, I have to take time for myself to ensure that I’m okay. That’s the stage I am currently in right now. It’s sort of weird, confusing, and frustrating all at the same time. But no matter what I endure or how I feel, I have to remember that those things will never change the person that I am. And you have to remember that when you are feeling the same, this holds true to you too.

I have been bullied, so much so that it affected the way I viewed myself ten years down the line. I questioned who I was for years. I compared myself to others and felt all of my insecurities and shortcomings way more than I should have. These situations and feelings have led me to the question, Who Am I? And it took me a while to learn that, who I am is not defined by who you think I am. It’s not defined by how you feel about me or the issues you have with me. Who I am is left to be determined by me. I am not perfect, but who is? And most importantly, who will ever be?

I have always been judged for being myself. Thing is, everyone won’t accept you. Nor like you. Some may have reasons, most may not. Simply because you’re you & they don’t get you. But don’t let that stop you from being you. I stopped myself for so long, scared of what others would think. But, hey who cares? Literally you can and will drive yourself crazy trying to please every one else. And I will never change, who I am, because it’s not appealing to the public eye. I’m writing this because I think someone needed to read this, I am not sure who. But I am hoping my vulnerability will help you, in whatever way it can. Know that you are special because you are you.

I challenge you all to stop focusing on how people see you, but how you see yourself! The only person who has to love you is YOU. It may not be easy and it’s definitely a process, but begin loving who you are today. All the little details of your life are included in the story of you. They have aided you in becoming the person you are today. My journey with bullying, confidence, and self-esteem have shaped me into the woman who I am continuously growing into today. Those past pains aren’t who I am, but they have been associated with my development & growth. Self-love is definitely the best love. Never change & always remember who you are, as I continue to remember, who I am.

College: Senior Year

August 12, 2018 - Janna

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
Today’s blog doesn’t have a specific topic geared towards self-love. But I want you all to remember to love yourselves, no matter what. Even if you aren’t feeling your best, even if you are questioning yourself, or even if you are content, you always deserve to be loved. And I hope that these Self-Love Sundays have been a reminder of that and continue to be. No, they aren’t over! But, this topic has a Self-Love topic infused within the content as well.

Since school starts for me tomorrow, I felt it was fitting to continue this little college miniseries going. So this blog is serving as a check-in for me, just a little update on the life of a college senior.

I honestly cannot believe that I start my senior year tomorrow. You know I’ve heard people say time flies & I have experience time flying for myself. But I SWEAR my college years have really flown by. People have said that this is the best time of your life. And honestly, I can see why. Since I’m a senior and I’ll be graduating in May, my concerns are now: looking for post undergraduate endeavors, whether it be grad school or a full-time job opportunity. People also say that adulting is hard, and I definitely see why they say that, too!

I remember when my hardest decisions were trying to decide which classes to sign up for and what organizations to dedicate my time too. Now, I’m exploring career paths and opportunities. I’ve always longed to be an adult. But, I must admit it can be pretty scary & I am definitely not in a rush anymore, but it’s kinda too late haha. I am so thankful for the opportunities I have been blessed with over my college career. I am especially thankful for my first corporate internship this summer. I gained a lot of advice, insight, and guidance while interning there and definitely lots of food for thought as I embark on this final year of college.

I am so excited and happy to be a senior, don’t get me wrong. But stepping out into the real world of adulthood is frightening. I want to say that I am ready, but are we ever really ready for that? So for now, I am going to take every thing one step at a time. Figure out what I enjoy and what I don’t, research career options and opportunities, and more than anything have an open mind. The most important piece of advice that someone shared at the internship is that I don’t have to make my mind up about what I want to do for the rest of my life right now. And that is so relieving. There is so much pressure to declare what you want to do for the rest of your life. But things change and how I feel about a career today may not be how I feel a year from now, same for you, and that is perfectly okay!

I can’t wait to decorate my graduation cap, since we couldn’t in highschool. I can’t wait to take graduation pictures, sent out invitations, and plan celebratory graduation festivities. I’m excited to be involved and leave my mark on my campus, while I still can as an undergrad. I’m excited to make memories with my friends, to hang out and just enjoy one another. Even though what is next may be unknown for me currently, I am still excited. And I can’t wait to document it all, via blog or photos. So, to all my college seniors and high school seniors ENJOY YOUR TIME. You can and will never get it back.

So on this Self-Love Sunday, don’t think that you must have it all figured out yet. Because I promise you, you don’t. I don’t, but I do know what interests me and possible careers that are appealing to me. Now, I’m just going to gain exposure and enjoy my last year of undergrad. Sometimes, you have to enjoy the moment you’re in & think about your future as you enjoy. Don’t be so stressed that you forget to enjoy the memories that may never occur again. Here’s to my senior year, may it be filled with countless blessings, experience, and lifetime memories. I may be afraid, but God hasn’t given me the spirit of fear. So I will take comfort in him and enjoy what he has for me, right now.

College Tips

August 9, 2018 - Janna

Hello my lovely readers!

Since it is August, that means school is beginning or has already started. Embarking on the college journey can be pretty exciting, yet scary at the same time. The summer before I began college, I asked so many questions to all the kids I knew were in college. And now that I am a senior in college, I feel that I have some tips of my own to share that would be helpful to anyone beginning college. And remember, these tips are just a few of many that could be useful.

1. Get Involved (But you don’t have to be in EVERYTHING)
In high school, I know that I tried to be involved with everything so I could put activities on my resume so I would look appealing to colleges. College is totally different. And honestly, you’ll run yourself crazy trying to go to every event for every organization all the time. It’s okay to attend different events to see what sparks your interests. But don’t fully commit to too many things, unless you know that you’re capable of handling everything. Because not only will you have those obligations to fulfill, but also obligations to your course load. I feel I am pretty involved on campus and while it can be stressful at times, I also love it! I have met so many people because of the leadership positions I have held or because of where I work at on campus. My freshmen year I wasn’t as involved, but I was researching organizations I heard about and seeing what interested me so that I could attend general body meetings to get a feel for things and then decide whether or not I wanted to join. Being involved has definitely made my college experience ten times more better.

2. Make friends in your classes
Having friends in your classes can be a life saver. Make sure that you introduce yourself to at least ONE person in your class and exchange numbers. If you get sick one day or have some sort of emergency, then you can always reach out to this person OR people. You all can form study groups or they may be able to help you understand a subject that you didn’t quite get in class. All of my classes have created Groupme’s, so if someone in your class creates one, join it! It is so helpful to communicate with classmates. You all can share reminders of due dates and ask questions and receive instant answers. Still reach out and communicate with your professor, but also have friends in class who can help you too!

3. Introduce Yourselves to Professors
College isn’t like high school. Just because your professor reads your name off a roll (if they even do that, most professors pass a sheet around to track attendance), doesn’t mean that they know or will even remember you. On the first day after class, take time to introduce yourself. If you don’t introduce yourself then, utilize your professor’s office hours to introduce yourself and possibly talk about the coursework. If your professors don’t know you, then they are less likely to help you if you ever need it. It’s one thing to come to class, but it’s another to be engaged and the students who go the extra mile are always the ones who professors are willing to go the extra mile for too. I had a phenomenal IS professor my sophomore year and now he is aiding me in completing an Honor’s Capstone. I reached out to him and he actually remembered me because I use to talk to him after class. Build relationships with professors, especially those in your major or those who have had experience in your desired career field, when opportunities arise they will have no problem to share with you because they are aware of your interest. It’s all about initiative, and in college you have to take the initiative to connect with your professors. You’ll be surprised with how it helps.

4. BUDGET so you can manage your money
This may not apply to you all your freshmen year. Your parents may continue to supply you with funds, but if they do still budget! It can be so easy to go to the mall with friends and splurge. But managing money is important, because if you don’t you will be broke, or close to it. And I know you’ve heard people refer to college students as broke, that’s cause we are! Our parents have no obligation to spend money cooking for us, cause we aren’t home (unless you’re fortunate enough to live at home and go to school). So managing the money you spend on food, school related items, and personal items matter. I wait until the first week of school before I purchase textbooks, even though I use my scholarship money for this. I don’t want to purchase a book & then get to class and a teacher say we don’t need it. That money could have been used somewhere else. And with that being said, manage your refund wisely! You never know when an emergency will occur and when you may need to use your own cash because you can’t get to your parents or whatever circumstance could occur. Always keep a little cash in your wallet too (but not too much), because you never know what could happen to your card. This is really food for thought as you continue your college career and become more and more independent.

5. Enjoy the social scene (BUT don’t get carried away)
We all know what the social scene entails, parties! It’s okay to hang out, bond and make new friends, and it’s even okay to party. But please do not get carried away! I have known so many people who come to college and get so caught up in partying, that they forget that they are a student first. Partying can affect grades. I know you’ve heard your parents say this and let it go in one ear & out the other, but REALLY partying can. If you aren’t disciplined enough to manage your time to complete work, study, and be able to enjoy yourself then.

6. BE SAFE
PLEASE BE SAFE, especially my females! People love to prey on college students, especially college women. Therefore, it’s important that we are extra careful of who we trust. Be aware of your surroundings at all times, especially at night. Travel with friends! Don’t go to a stranger’s house alone, no matter how sweet they make the invitation sound. Don’t walk around at night alone. If needed, share your location with a friend. You know how on movies they talk about guys putting pills in girls drinks? That actually happens. So if you ever put your cup down at a party, just get a new one. This tip doesn’t require too much of an explanation, but I just want you all to be aware that your parents aren’t around to defend you from some guy messing with. And that guys will bother you or try to. Being aware is key to staying safe.

7. GO TO CLASS
It’s college and you finally have the decision to go to class or not go, and of course it sounds appealing to skip. Don’t skip class. Cause 9 times out of 10, it’ll become a habit. While some classes include attendance in the grade, all courses don’t. The classes that don’t normally rely on in-class lectures for class material. Even if you feel the teacher is trash, still attend. That’s so your teacher will see your face and then teach yourself on your own time or seek help to ensure that you do your best. Trust me, I know how appealing skipping class seems. But attending classes help you more than you think. Sometimes, when I take tests I am able to recognize answers solely because I remember our teaching discussing it in class and saying that it would be on the test. If you don’t attend, then you’ll never know what the teacher is saying to help. Also, some teachers offer bonus points or extra credit, but only those actually in the class room can receive it!

8. SEEK HELP WHEN NEEDED
Closed mouths don’t get fed, right? If you need help, please do not be afraid to ask for it. Whether it be with your studies or even just advice in personal matters. It could be something as simple as needing help staying organized, still ask! Campuses offer plenty of resources for studies that will be able to aid them in all sorts of matters. And if you feel uncertain of where to go for help, ask a friend that you trust or a professor or employee that you feel close to.

9. Take advantage of what your campus has to offer
At my university, students traveling abroad can receive a $1,000 scholarship. And all you have to do is complete a simple “application,” literally you fill out your name, all your credentials, where you are traveling, when, and if it’s for class credit etc. It is that easy! (I STRONGLY RECOMMEND STUDENTS TO TRAVEL ABROAD IN COLLEGE!) I’ve been blessed to study abroad to Italy & Costa Rica and paid little to nothing for these trips! And by little I mean, $300. This is because I was in an honor’s cohort that focused on globalization and we received grants to pay for our plane ticket and living. Explore your college! Get on your school’s website and see what is available to you, that’s how I heard about the program. And I am so glad I did! Who knows when I’ll be able to travel abroad again? And for such a low price? Make sure you are aware of what’s available to you so that you can take advantage of all that you want!

10. Your Studies Matter
The grades you make your freshmen year in your classes will follow you forever. And what I mean by this is, how you perform in your classes your freshmen year will affect you throughout your college career. Do not slack off! I am blessed that my high school prepared me beyond measure for the college course load, so when I began taking college courses I was surprised with how easy they were. I maintained a 4.0 until my sophomore year when I made my first B. But since I started off strong my freshmen year, that B only affected me a little. And because of my strong foundation, I have been able to maintain a my GPA. If you fail even one class, it can greatly affect your GPA. And once your GPA drops, it’s not always easy to bring it back up. Making A’s will boost it, but not as much as you think they would. GPA’s aren’t everything, but you are paying for your education (or someone is) and therefore, it’s important for you to give your best. If someone does look at your transcript for a potential scholarship, internship, or job opportunity, they do not want to see a bunch of F’s. Failing classes because you simply don’t care is not cool, but giving your all and failing a class because it was hard is another story. All I am saying is while you’re trying to navigate all the other areas of your life, make sure you focus on your studies, too. I mean that is why you’re there.

No matter what, make sure that you enjoy yourself! College is so great and many people say it’s the best time of your lives. So make it count! And feel free to reach out to me for any advice or questions you may have, I feel I’m a veteran now haha.

Shine Bright

August 5, 2018August 6, 2018 - Janna

Happy Self-Love Sunday & welcome to the month of August!

I hope this month is filled with favor & prosperity for you all. I pray that for all you students, like myself, that this school year is filled with all A’s and memorable experiences! Honestly, I hope you make the best of this new month and all the opportunities that will be presented before you. I am praying that August will be a month filled with rejuvenation for myself, so that my light shall reignite and shine bright.

Matthew 5:14 says, “Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” The Bible says that we should let our lights shine in order to reflect God working in our lives. And I can’t lie, recently I have felt my light dim. I’ve been unexplainably sad. I try to push through the day and end up in tears. And I’m trying to find and do everything to make myself happy.
As I sit in the car with my parents and my brother on vacation, riding down the back roads of St. John’s island in Charleston, I realize that this is the first time I’ve been genuinely happy in a while. Where I’m not putting on a smile to make others feel comfortable or make them think I’m good. I’m just being me and for those who know me, know that I love to be surrounded/immersed in my family and their love. I’m making jokes and picking at my dad and watching as my entire family erupts in laughter. And I realize that my sadness was dimming my light.

I’ve let the darkness of my emotions take over, so much so that my light wasn’t shining anymore. I get that stars shine in darkness, but I was letting the darkness consume the light of my stars. I wasn’t allowing God’s works to be reflected in my life. I’ve been focused on my sadness, as if it’s the only thing going on in my life. As if my life revolves around it, as if I couldn’t function or go on. But getting away from my world and being able to sit and reflect has proved to be very thought-provoking and eye-opening. I may be hurt but I don’t have to allow my hurt to dictate my life. I still have the same purpose that I had before, just a little sadness. And I have to remember that my pain is temporary & I will be okay. This darkness had to occur in order for me to evaluate myself and understand that I am a conqueror who will shine through the darkness. And I can’t sit still to wallow in sadness, because what good does that do? But, I also have to remember to be patient with myself and my progress. And more importantly, patient with God’s timing for my life.

I was trying to force happiness, force the mending of my heart. But that stuff takes time. And regardless of who says or thinks what, it will all happen in the time that God has allotted it to for me and my life. It feels good to feel happy with my family, even though my worries and cares are in the back of my mind. They don’t seem so big anymore , they don’t seem so overwhelming, I find comfort in knowing that I have people who love me and look forward to seeing me or laughing at jokes I make. They have rekindled my light.

I want to shine bright. I want to continue pursuing my passions and dreams. And since this month has begun, a lot of divine intervention has occurred in my life that have reassured me of my recovery via the word of God, whether it be through my daily devotionals, readings of the Bible, or talks with God. It seems as if every thing is encouraging me to rekindle my light and carry on, to persevere and shine bright. See, my problem is feeling like I have to always be okay. And I don’t. So this sadness really hit me and I’ve been sad! But, this sadness has also served as an outlet for creative thoughts and ideas. And I know that with the help of God, I can continue on because he will give me peace beyond my understanding and restore me more than I ever expected. But, what kind of Self-Love Sunday would this be if I wasn’t real with you all on my current emotions, experiences? I will overcome and I am still loving myself. I hope to shine bright, it’ll just happen in due time. It’s a journey and I am a work in progress.

This Self-Love Sunday, I encourage you to shine brightly. This doesn’t mean I’m telling you be happy 24/7, that is not realistic. What I am saying is, take time to embrace your sadness and let those emotions pass. You don’t have to be happy all the time. And your sadness may affect you positively and inspire you with some content or an idea to help others by sharing your story. You are not alone & I promise you aren’t the only one going through something. WE ALL DO! So I am hoping that my sharing will touch someone today. Because being able to love yourself even when you’re not feeling your best is all included in self-love. But it’s your choice to let sadness take over your life or continue push through. I’m choosing to push through and shine bright. The choice is yours, what will you choose today?

Unveiling Janna Alane

Inspiration to be true to yourself.

Month: August 2018

Who I Am, Who You Are

College: Senior Year

College Tips

Shine Bright