A Word Wednesday

Happy Wednesday my lovely readers!
As many of you know, I started school last Monday. So I apologize for last week being blogless. I had to get my life together for school. But I’m back ! Today’s blog is heavily inspired by some feelings that have been heavy on my heart to share. But, I definitely feel this topic is relatable to all. Because I can guarantee that we have all felt this way at one point in time.
And who doesn’t love a self-love Sunday post on a Wednesday? (Especially because of my absence)

It kills me when people think they know who I am, because people only know what they see or what they assume to be true. I am pretty guarded with my life, so I don’t always share every personal matter, opinion, or detail. But at the same time, it’s not hard for others to assume that they know who I am based off of preconceived notions. They say they don’t “fw” me, but for what? Or only talk to me when it’s convenient for them. But if I’m not smiling, like I normally do, or quick to greet them, then I’m the problem. They assume I have an attitude or feel some way. But, everyone has bad days. No one can keep a genuine smile 24/7 and who are you to fault me, because I’m only human?

Who I am shouldn’t be defined by who you believe I am. Who you are shouldn’t be defined by the words of others. I am human, too. I bleed and hurt, just like you. I’ve just become accustomed with keeping a smile for others & making sure they’re okay. But sometimes, I have to take time for myself to ensure that I’m okay. That’s the stage I am currently in right now. It’s sort of weird, confusing, and frustrating all at the same time. But no matter what I endure or how I feel, I have to remember that those things will never change the person that I am. And you have to remember that when you are feeling the same, this holds true to you too.

I have been bullied, so much so that it affected the way I viewed myself ten years down the line. I questioned who I was for years. I compared myself to others and felt all of my insecurities and shortcomings way more than I should have. These situations and feelings have led me to the question, Who Am I? And it took me a while to learn that, who I am is not defined by who you think I am. It’s not defined by how you feel about me or the issues you have with me. Who I am is left to be determined by me. I am not perfect, but who is? And most importantly, who will ever be?

I have always been judged for being myself. Thing is, everyone won’t accept you. Nor like you. Some may have reasons, most may not. Simply because you’re you & they don’t get you. But don’t let that stop you from being you. I stopped myself for so long, scared of what others would think. But, hey who cares? Literally you can and will drive yourself crazy trying to please every one else. And I will never change, who I am, because it’s not appealing to the public eye. I’m writing this because I think someone needed to read this, I am not sure who. But I am hoping my vulnerability will help you, in whatever way it can. Know that you are special because you are you.

I challenge you all to stop focusing on how people see you, but how you see yourself! The only person who has to love you is YOU. It may not be easy and it’s definitely a process, but begin loving who you are today. All the little details of your life are included in the story of you. They have aided you in becoming the person you are today. My journey with bullying, confidence, and self-esteem have shaped me into the woman who I am continuously growing into today. Those past pains aren’t who I am, but they have been associated with my development & growth. Self-love is definitely the best love. Never change & always remember who you are, as I continue to remember, who I am.

Hello my lovely readers & Happy Wednesday!
So I have been trying to let God use me. And I really felt that he has been speaking to me and orchestrating me to carry out his will. I am allowing him to use me as I write today’s blog. He definitely picked the topic for today & not me. I hope it resonates with you all.

God will make room in your life for him. And in the process of him making room, he will decrease some things, some situations, and maybe even some people so that he may increase. He has to do this because we aren’t allowing enough room for him in our lives. And God is a jealous God, he doesn’t want us to worship any other God or give anyone the praise that he deserves.

Personally, I have been watching God make room for himself in my life. He has been trying to get my attention before he began to make room, so that I would do it on my own. However, I have been so caught up in my own wants and needs. I feel that I have fallen short and allowed other things to come before him. So everything that has been occurring in my life over these last weeks, has been God making room. And even though things aren’t going how I would like or expected, I understand that he is working every thing out for my good. I am so excited about my journey to further myself & our relationship. And once I get myself together, refocus on him, he will restore things that need to be restored and allow me to let go of things that he hasn’t planned for me to have in my life.

I didn’t even realize that I needed to make room until last week. See, God is so intentional. The church event I attended last week that I told you about was where it all happened. Johnathan McReynolds performed his album, Make Room, which I have been listening to faithfully every day. Yesterday, the title song Make Room, was playing on my way to work. When I got to work, the song was still in my head, when I was trying to write my blog out at my desk the song was still in my head. And that’s when I heard God speak to me and say, “Let me use you!” So here we are. In the song, Johnathan McReynolds is listing out things in his life that he wants God to move over so that he may seek him first. And it wasn’t until yesterday that I realized God moved these things over so that there would be room, even though I didn’t ask. He saw my need!

Things in my life had to be moved over so I could give God the attention he deserves, so I could better my life, better myself, and most importantly better my relationship with God. In previous posts, I have been talking about my desire to seek God first. And now I understand where those emotions came from. God was speaking to me and I wasn’t listening. I also learned that you can either ask God to make room or he will do it himself. And if he does it himself, it won’t necessarily be the prettiest situation. You will become hurt by the worldly things you are holding onto, you may be confused and wonder why it seems like your life is falling apart. I had to learn the hard way and it hasn’t been easy, but I know it’s worth it. I want to share with you all so that you can evaluate your mindset, behavior, and life to see what can be decrease so that He may increase, before he makes room himself. But I truly believe everything happens for a reason & that it’s all apart of the plan He has for you to be AMAZING!

What does God need to move around in your life? Because he will do so, even if you don’t ask. Will you be ready to make room & allow him to use you? If you aren’t ready, he will make you ready. Today, I challenge you to make room in your life or watch God make his own room. Either way, I promise you’ll see a tremendous change in your life, for the better.

Unveiling Janna Alane

Inspiration to be true to yourself.

Who I Am, Who You Are

Make Room