Hello lovelies & Happy Self-Love Sunday!

This blog is a safe haven for thoughts & feelings, and I always want it to be like this. Last blog, I talked about pushing through in spite of your feelings. And I am desperately trying to do this. But I understand that I have to (more so need to) take some time for me, with God. Because I am currently going through a lot. So that being said, you can continue to expect Self Love Sunday blogs, but Wednesday blogs may be a little scarce or nonexistent for the time being.

I am always trying to care for everyone else. I always put everyone else first, before me & sometimes even before God. I seek my friends guidance & help before I ask for God’s guidance. Recently, I had to submit a blog about self-care rituals to stay stress free. And one of the most important rituals I listed was, time for yourself. And it’s time for me to begin taking time for me.

I love my friends & family dearly. In fact, I came home this weekend just to be surrounded by the love of my family. But, I am feeling very sad and there are a million different things on my mind currently. And God is really speaking to me and moving me to take some time to solely focus on him. To focus on being the woman he has called me to be, by steadily seeking him, talking to him, praying to him, and most importantly worshipping him. So for the rest of this month, I am going to detach from social media and attach to my God. I have already started, so if you reach out to me via any social media platform, this is why I am not responding or if my response is very delayed. And I will really only go on social media to let you all know there’s a new blog posted.

I feel I never take time to myself. I never take time to gather myself and focus on me. I never take time to fully and wholeheartedly devote myself to God’s plan for my life. I have moments where I feel I am on the path he has planned for me. But God doesn’t just want moments of me, he wants all of me. And I am currently on a journey that requires all of me to be given to God because I need all of him, just as much as he needs me.

It’s okay to not always be in the crowd. It’s okay to be selfish with your time and focus on you. Because honestly, how often do you do that? How often do you put yourselves before others? Peace can be found in solitude, in stillness. And Lord knows I am in need of peace. I am hoping to grow and refocus. To be renewed in the plan God has for my life and not solely focus on my own wants and needs. I know that God is the only one who can truly understand how I am currently feeling and make me whole again. (But I would greatly appreciate prayers from you all for me as well.)

Sometimes you just have to take some time for yourself. If you use that time to detach from the world for a little or use that time to further grow with God, the choice is yours. But just know that you have that option. I am utilizing that option now. Have some time for you and don’t feel guilty about it. Today, I challenge you to schedule some alone time for yourself this week. Take this time to reflect, refresh yourself, or have some down time. Having time to yourself is an essential part of self-care and self-love. So embrace the time you have made for you, I am beginning to embrace my time.

 

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
I hope you all enjoyed your fourth of July! There is a song by Marvin Sapp, that has been heavy on my heart lately and almost always makes me reflect on my life and everything that I’ve been through. Even though it’s a gospel song, I know that everyone can relate to it. The song begins with, “He saw the best in me, when everyone else around could only see the worst in me.” 

How often in your life do you only focus on the characteristics you don’t like about yourself? Or how often do you reflect on those things that you feel others don’t like about you? If God can see the best in you, even when it seems others cannot, then why not start seeing the best in you too? Because I promise, there is something amazing inside each & every one of us! It’s up to you to recognize and embrace that. 

I thank God for seeing the best in me. And this song/saying really means a lot to me because of my personal experiences. Because I have fallen victim to caring what others think of me too many times for me to count. Especially when it seems that my world is falling apart, as if every possible thing that could go wrong has occurred. And then I start to worry and stress about how I can continuously fix all these negatives. So why is it so easy to see the bad, but not the good? Maybe because it’s easier to criticize than to compliment, especially when it comes to ourselves. We can compliment others all day long and at the same time, we can look at the mirror and point out everything we do not like about ourselves. So, let’s start using that positive energy that we have for others and also use it towards ourselves. Compliment others AND compliment yourself by recognizing the best parts of you.

Since we are all made in God’s image, that means there is some good in us. We just have to be willing to see it. And seeing this good and recognizing it can be the hardest part of the battle. It is our human nature to be our own biggest critic. I know that I am, and maybe many of you can relate to this. But just because it’s in our human nature doesn’t mean that we have to continue this. I don’t want to constantly bring myself down or criticize myself. I want to uplift myself and highlight those amazing features I love about myself. Life isn’t always easy and the situations and hardships we endure can be so daunting that they may tear our spirit down. I’ve been in situations where I have felt so drained and felt like complete trash. But what if, instead of succumbing to that awful feeling, I focused on all the good that is in me? What if I focused on the best parts of me? Imagine how I would feel. Imagine if you did the same, imagine how you would feel, too.

What reasons do you have to not love yourself or see the best in you? And if you’re trying to think of any reasons, stop. I promise they aren’t valid. You are wonderful, you are amazing, and the best parts of you are worth being acknowledged. Regardless of how this world may make you feel, remember that God sees the best in you, even when no one else, including yourself does. I don’t care what others say about you or myself, their opinions are not binding. The only opinion that truly matters is how we feel about ourselves. The world can and will try to tell you who you are all the time. But only you truly know the person you are, the kind of heart you have, and most importantly the best parts of you. It’s your choice to recognize the best in you. I’m beginning to make it my choice. Because even though I may be flawed, the best parts of me are still there. No matter what mistakes I make, no matter how many times I stumble or fall. And the best of you is always in you as well, no matter what.

Disregard how others may feel about you or their opinions. Your opinion is the only one that matters. Today, I challenge you to see the best in you. To think of some characteristics, you love about yourself. Make a list, write them down, save them in your phone, or store them in your memory. But, always keep them handy so that on those days when you need some extra love, you can refer to this list & remember how wonderful you are. And remember why YOU love yourself so much! The greatest love is self-love, so love yourself a little harder today & reflect on what you see as the best in you. I guarantee you’ll smile a little harder.

Hey my lovely readers!
I hope that you all are enjoying this wonderful Sunday. I know that I have been, my nieces & sister-in-law came to visit this weekend and I really enjoyed my time with them. I thoroughly enjoy my family & love spending time with them. I can’t wait to be around them again.

Have you ever thought you had your life planned out & then it seems like nothing is going your way? Have you felt stuck? Like a prisoner in your own life? Well today I just want you to know that you are a prisoner to no one and nothing except Jesus Christ. And if he is imprisoning you, I promise it’s for your own good.

I know many of you have heard that God will never put more on us than we can bear. And this holds true even when it seems that we are headed in an unfavorable direction. See, you may have a plan but God has a purpose. Meaning that you may have everything mapped out, but God is giving your entire life, every thing you touch and participate in purpose. What’s a plan with no purpose? That’s like idly pursuing something, but not having a why, a reason for continuing on. And the purpose is the most important factor.

I had plans of being with people who weren’t good for me, either just as friends or as more than friends. But I realized that my plans didn’t align with God’s purpose for me. He removed me from these people in such a manner that made me act. Yes I was hurt and it took me a while to move on, but I understand that he did this so that I could align with what he had in store. It wasn’t easy and it definitely didn’t feel good at first, but looking back at it, I realize that this plan sounded good in theory but not on paper. These plans had no substance, no purpose. It can be so easy to get caught up in desires and wants, trying to plan everything out according to when and how you want things to occur.

But honestly that is not realistic. And it’s surely not realistic if you have no purpose behind your plans. It’s okay to dream, okay to set goals, and even okay to plan. But it’s also okay for things to not go as you planned them to. It’s okay to face some hiccups along the way. It’s okay to not always have every detail planned out. You must remember that all of your story, your journey, your lessons are a part of God’s plan & purpose for your life. He only wants what is best for us. So why not want what is best for you?

Love yourself enough to be patient with your journey. Be patient when things do not go your way. Every lesson won’t be learned in an easy manner and every lesson won’t always feel good. But it is important to listen to your purpose. With purpose you can move mountains, reach the unreachable, anything is possible. Because you will be doing what you are called to do. Unlock yourself from the prison that you have been confided to because you thought you had to accomplish things in a certain manner. Take a step back & ask yourself why are you planning your life the way that you are. Are you planning to have a plan or are you planning to fulfill your purpose? What’s your why? See what you are passionate about, what moves you beyond measure and begin to navigate your life according to God’s purpose for you & not your own plan.

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
Today’s Self-love message is heavily inspired by today’s sermon from church. Often times we associate the person we used to be with such negativity. We forget that if we never experienced past trials & tribulations, we would never be the person that we are today, or the person we’re growing into. Applied knowledge is power and therefore, it’s essential to understand how our past has influenced our future. And how we aren’t who we used to be, so we can truly understand why we should love who are now even more!

“It’s difficult to be thankful for who we are, if we never remember who we were.”
When these words were stated today at church, I knew that I had to further develop this topic in a blog. I know that I have talked about letting go of past mistakes. But in order to do this, you must be at peace with your past. You must understand how your past has guided you to your future. Who you are is a combination of your past pains that have led you to be better, to not endure the same things, and that challenge you every day to not make the same mistakes. What I am saying is, that you are NOT your past, but your past has greatly influenced your present and will continue to do so. It’s just up to you to decide whether this impact will result in positive outcomes or negative. The choice is yours.

Personally, I know that my past has positively impacted my life. Now, that doesn’t mean that my past was perfect, because it definitely was not. It was filled with heartache, lots of pain, and lots of tears. However, those trying times have shaped me into the lady that I am today. The lady that I am continuously growing to be. My past has made me realize how much I need God, how I want to positively impact others, and my past has allowed me to better understand my strengths, and weaknesses. There’s a gospel song that says, “I won’t go back, can’t go back, to the way things used to be before your presence came & changed me.” So when the pastor mentioned those words above, I instantly thought of that song and what it means to me. I know that I can’t go back to how I used to think and behave, I don’t want to. And I know that God’s presence and having his presence in my life has truly changed me. Made me want to continuously strive to be and do better.

“When you understand who you were, then you have so much more appreciation for who you are, or who you can become.”
When you understand that you used to be bitter, hateful, filled with sadness or rage, BUT you don’t feel like that anymore, then you can have an abundance to appreciate. You can appreciate your growth! You can truly begin appreciating who you are. We are all battle-scarred in some way, shape, or form. The scars come from our past, they come from who we used to deal with, the old ways of thought. These scars do not define you. They just represent a time in your life, when you endured hurt. Pay attention to the word I used, endured. Meaning yes, you dealt with hurt but you also had victory over hurt. The pain, the tears, those trying times did not receive the last laugh. You received the last laugh. And you want to know how I know? Because I used to be so sad, consumed by everything I’ve been through. But one day I realized that I no longer wanted to let those feelings win. I began trusting in God and then, I became victorious over all my pain. I started in one situation, with such negativity, and ended up where I am today. I do not behave the way I used to, nor feel how I used to and therefore, I can appreciate where I am and where I’m going. But most importantly, I understand where I have been and how that ugly made my strive toward the prettiness of who I could be, where I could go.

We have all experienced ugly in our life, maybe a lot of ugly, maybe just a little. In order for us to understand the prettiness we now see, or the prettiness we are trying to see, we have to understand that ugly. Understand how it’s allowing us to let go, to move forward, and to appreciate. If you’ve never done so, take some time to understand the ugliness of your past and how your life looks totally different today. Appreciate your growth and strength in your present, because of the ugliness of your past. I guarantee you’ll be amazed at the transition and proud you didn’t let ugly win. Love yourself a little harder today, knowing that you must understand who you were, so you can better appreciate who you are, or who you will become. 

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
Have you ever stressed about something that was out of your control? Something that has continuously hindered and bothered you? Something that makes you feel uneasy and restless, but has already occurred? I promise you are not alone and I can whole heartedly relate. And in order to better take care of ourselves, on this wonderful Self-Love Sunday, we must be kind to ourselves & recognize sometimes things are out of our control.

It can be so easy to beat yourself up over what has occurred, over the mistakes you have made, the way you wished you handled situations. But you must remember, what is done is done. And stressing yourself out about how you wish you could have changed things, is only hurting you more. You have to learn to be at peace by doing better, improving your mistakes moving forward. You must forget the mistake & remember the lesson. Don’t be so consumed over what has already happened that you can not even find any joy. You can’t move forward because you’re stuck on the past.

Now, I am a guilty party of the acts listed above. However, I have realized that hanging onto what has been and dwelling on these things is of no value to me, to my present. I have let these past situations and experiences completely steal my joy and happiness. And ultimately, that has done no good for me, my spirit, or my soul. It’s left me feeling sad, worthless, and helpless. I like to be in control of everything, but the truth is that I can not always be in control. That’s not how life works. I have to be able to trust the process. To trust that people I love will make right decisions and if they don’t, then that’s not on me. I can only love, support, and trust. And if this trust is violated, then I have to let go. I have had to learn to not whole people to their past, we all have one and sometimes we haven’t made the best of decisions, we’ve done things we no longer think about. And sometimes, the past is simply just that, the past. Now this may all sound like common sense, but I promise once feelings are involved, it’s not as easy as it seems.

Sometimes we just have to understand that things are out of our control. It’s simply impossible to always control everything. And we have to learn that things will always go how God planned them to, even if that means we get hurt by the situation. That’s a way of God showing us that it wasn’t meant for us. You may not have made the decision you wanted, you may have said something you didn’t mean at the moment. But I promise you it’s okay. While you may not be able to go back to that exact moment and change time, you can change how you move going forward. You can apologize, make more of an effort, don’t let your mistakes consume you or make you feel that is who you are. Because I promise you, you are not you’re mistakes. None of us are. We’re all human, so of course we all fall short. But, it’s what you do to move forward that makes you who you are.

Tough situations are only here to push us closer to God and make us realize our true strength. We’re always stronger than we realize. We can endure much more than we know. And I truly want everyone to experience long-term happiness. I know that every moment of every day will not be always be full of happiness, but why add onto the unhappy moments of life? Why stress about what we can not control? We must move forward and change the things that we can. Pray about what we can’t change, and ask for forgiveness for those we have done wrong and for those who have done us wrong. It’s all a process.

Our imperfections are the very things that make us who we are. But sometimes we can become so consumed with these things, that we lose sight in how wonderful we are. Remember, you can’t control the actions of others and that’s when the lovely role of trust comes into play. You also can’t beat yourself up over mistakes you’ve felt you made in the past. Today, I challenge you to let go of that hurt, that pain, gained from previous mistakes, from how others have made you feel, and just be free. Be free knowing that everything happens for a reason & that you only have the power to change how things go moving forward, and then that’s not always guaranteed. Be still knowing that you are making an effort to be better and to let go.

Happy Self-Love Sunday!
I thought I had today’s blog all prepared and ready to publish. I went to church this morning & I felt God furthered confirmed my message for today with today’s topic and what was said. However, on the way home I had an unsettling feeling and I feel God is telling me to hold that topic for next week and speak on something else. So that is what I am going to do, it’s weighing heavy on my heart & I definitely feel it’s appropriate for our Self-Love series. So enjoy!

Have you ever been happy about something you have accomplished and shared with the world, but then felt bad for sharing maybe a little too much? Have you ever been happy but felt it was at the expense of others? Or, have you ever diverged your happiness because you felt you didn’t deserve to be? Or compromised your happiness to comply with someone else’s? Then this blog is the one for you (I apologize in advance if it’s a little lengthy.)

Your happiness is significant. And regardless of how others may feel, you deserve to be happy. If you think others deserve to be happy, then why don’t you feel the same about yourself? Don’t feel bad about being happy, because then you take away your joy. It’s okay to feel for your friends and want the best for them. But you have to do the same for yourself. Sometimes, you have to put your own happiness first & sometimes that entails putting you first as well.. I’m not condoning being 100% selfish. But let’s be real, if you never do what you love, what you want, or what makes you happy, then maybe you need to be a little teeny bit of selfish for once.

I am guilty of the above. Guilty of putting others happiness before my own, going above & beyond to make them happy. And I am not saying that is terrible, cause it’s not. I want all my friends and loved ones to be happy. However, I can’t make that my number one focus, 365 days of the year because then I drain myself and have no time to make me feel good. Help your friends feel happy when you can, and then help yourself too.

Life is already pretty tough. Therefore, it’s important to delight in what we can, when we can. Every day isn’t going to be filled with rainbows and lots of joy, and I know we can all agree to this. But when happiness presents itself in front of you, you better embrace it with every ounce of you!

God makes no mistakes. So when he allows feelings of happiness to warm your body, he meant for you to be happy! Don’t doubt or second guess. Just be open & receptive. And if you feel led to spread the happiness you feel, then do so. But be cautious of tiring yourself and stretching yourself too thin. We are blessed by God, so whatever blessings come your way are truly meant for you. And if they make you happy, then be happy! I’m learning to indulge in my happiness, to embrace it, give thanks, and help others when and if I can. But first I had to completely accept what is meant for me, is meant for me. So are you going to love yourself enough today to choose to be happy?

Happy Sunday!
Since everyone wants to be summertime fine, let’s first get our minds, souls, and hearts right. Every Sunday is dedicated to self-love & each Sunday I will discuss different topics in regards to Self-Love.

Today’s Self-Love Sunday topic is about knowing your worth.
This topic has a special place in my heart. And after a few conversations with some close friends this past week, the Lord placed it on my heart for me to blog about it.

It can be so easy to forget your value living in a world where well known people, celebrities, and whoever else seem to receive all the glory and attention. This makes it hard for a person to realize their importance and feel of value by just being who they are. Trust me, I know. But I am writing this to tell you that you have value, as who you are. You don’t need to imitate anyone else. Regardless of who gets praised or worshipped on social media, YOU ARE IMPORTANT. You don’t have to be Instagram verified or have millions of followers to have value or be verified in life.

 

You are special and distinct in your own way. There are certain qualities and attributes that you obtain that make you extraordinary and unique compared to everyone else. Even when times get tough. Even when everything seems to easily fall into place for others. Even when it feels like others cannot see your potential, your power, your impact. You still matter. & you will always matter. But you have to make sure that you recognize that you matter. You are just as important as these stars (or whomever) you idolize, look up to, or hold to a standard.

Even if it seems you don’t matter to anyone else, you matter to yourself. Take care of yourself. Be patient, kind, and understanding with yourself. Understand that your journey isn’t like anyone else’s and you can’t live your life imitating someone else. That will never end well. Even if their life seems to be all rainbows and smiles. That is not always the case. And more likely than not, you only see the good & people seldom display the bad. But everyone has bad days.

You have to remember that flowers grow through dirt. Meaning that in spite of the ugliness that is underneath flowers, the ugliness that they must grow through, flowers grow. They sprout and become beautiful pieces of nature. Just as flowers grow through unappealing circumstances, so do we. Our pain has a purpose. My struggles have allowed me to realize my worth. I’m not the same young lady I was a year ago, a month ago, a week ago. I have grown through my dirt. Even though I didn’t want to experience those painful moments or share those tears, I did. And I am still growing. But the most important thing I am thankful for on my journey of growth is realizing that I am important and will always be.

 

So as you go throughout your Sunday, throughout each and every day, reflect on attributes that you love about yourself. Reflect on something you enjoy doing, something you’re good at. And when you begin thinking of ways you don’t compare to others, ask yourself, how are you different from the rest. In doing this, you are appreciating yourself & realizing your worth. And most importantly, always remember you hold value in this world and you always will.